NYE

okay. today is e last day of e yr 2005. and this is my list of new yr's resolution.

1. earn and save money [50bucks a month?] to spend? lol.
2. be more confident of myself?
3. learn driving. mobilitymobilitymobility
4. lose some weight
5. jog at least twice a week [hmmmmm] or do suction lipectomy.
6. blog more regularly
7. speak up [more?]
8. cultivate good habits like brushing my teeth [every morning. oops. night. =D]
9. eat less junk [m&s junkies]; more health food [a.k.a un-tasty food]
10. dream less abt dark tall handsome strangers hitting on me. ="(
11. read more books. not merely re-reading harry potter.
12. b more IT-savvy. [DUN LAUGH. I REPEAT DO NOT LAUGH]
13. tag more on ppl's blog. [dun b a mere ghost]
14. initiate more activities w friends. [dun keep lazing away at home reading and pigging out]
15. buy contacts and white metal frame specs. nice
16. ask money from dad less
17. well, talk more to my dad
18. b less of a mummy's girl [hope my mum doesnt see this. hurrr]
19. buy less bags and clothes. HEEEE
20. lose weight
21. learn how to cook. in case i have to go abroad to do uni
22. psycho my mum into getting cable tv [i want MTV]
23. save 110 bucks to get v nice and gorgeous diamond alike crystal belt frm arab street. =/
24. make more accessories to sell/give ppl
25. watch love actually w little sis on christmas
26. keep my messy room tidier
27. check up e dictionary more [instead of telling myself i cant know every word]
28. borrow and watch csi season 4 [rizal plsssssssss]
29. play more tennis and improve myself. [so that SOME ppl wil quit laughing at me. hmphf.]
30. eat less chocolate bars. [tasty]
31. read newsppr more. [so tt when some big shot VIP dies i wldn sound like a bimbo when a foreigner asks me abt it]
32. wear more REAL bras. [not just sports bra]
33. be a nicer person. bitch less
34. be less cynical

okay. thats abt all for now. heh. its alr 010106. -gasps- i spent a yr trying to write out my new yr's reso. LOL* oh well.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! may it b a fruitful yr. =D

and just wanna thank all my friends [old, new, not so old but not too new.] for being there and laughing at/w me. haha~ i wldn b me wo u all. :)

and i say hooowoohoowooo.

im quite bored at home. getting fat and stuff. sigh. =/ i need to find a job soon. i feel parasitic. living off my parents and doing nth too constructive. except converting oxygen to carbon dioxide. hurrr. even plants have more use den me. =// -sobs-

hur better look thru e papers and call up phs.

i was e one worth leaving.

"The District Sleeps Alone Tonight" - Postal Service

Smeared black ink... your palms are sweaty
And I'm barely listening to last demands
I'm staring at the asphalt wondering what's buried underneath
Where I am
Where I am

I'll wear my badge... a vinyl sticker with big block letters adherent to my chest
That tells your new friends I am a visitor here...I am not permanent
And the only thing keeping me dry is
Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving
D.C. sleeps alone tonight
Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

You seem so so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting
And I am finally seing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving
Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

The district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights
And send the autos swerving into the loneliest evening
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving

okay. im blogging, again. im leaving for KL tonight w jas rizal and eddie. :) hope it'l b a gd trip. haha. its so exciting!! 1st time traveling wo my mum or sch teachers. hahahaha.

abercrombie and fitch HERE I COME!!!!!!

and tif has kindly reminded me bout e great sale. HAHAHA. YAY*!

muahahaha. i think e leaves worked. =D

leaves.

anyway, 8 leaves fell on to me ytd. hahaha. 8 wishes. muahahaha.

hurrrrrrrrrrr

after some considerations, i've decided to lower e price of my earrings to $3.90 or $4.90 depending on the size and design. so cheerios!
oh and im trying to make more earrings to cater to e bimbos. LOL* =X

anyway, its v tiring to be misunderstood all e time. hurrrrr. and there is a limit to eth. even nice-ness.

earrings.. more.

sickk

i'm sick. hurr. i hate it. sore throat plus flu. HURRR. oh well. im trying to upload pics of wad i've made for my flea market stall. but my connection is so darn slow that i have to retry like 2 million times. hurrrr. oh well more will b up. tts all for now i guess.


earrings going at 5 bucks per pair. pls contact me if interested. :)

siiigh

"Sunday Morning" - Maroon 5

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you
And you may not know

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning

just feeling a lil sulky. i think my alienation mode is kicking in. all i wanna do now is to read a book listen to music and just mind my own business. hurrr.

went for suntanning just now. hope i burnt a few calories off. was sweating like mad. but my back's darker den my front. argh. it always happens. =/

prom

prom was. quite normal. dinner. few laughters due to dumb jokes made by the mc. and he didnt get e fact right for one of e jokes. he said tt rj prom was like "a few weeks back". but well. its actually today. ah well..

anyway, i think i wldn wear my heels anymore. hurr. my feet are still hurting.

okaay. im off to watch andy lau in e return of e condor heros. muahahaha.

nth

do visit wiggly piggly k. :) he's lime green and v cute. click on him 3 times to see it roll-in-the-mud!!!!!

hurrr.. prom prep

okay. i've decided to blog. after a week of silence. oh well. been bz w my flea market stuff and these few days, prom.

its not enjoyable nor easy shopping for clothes wo a nice body [flat stomach is lacking for me] next to a low budget. hurrr. found a decent dress nonetheless. nth spectacular. quite plain and common. well at least its green. not e clone colour - black. but now, i worry abt seeing someone wearing e same dress tonight. sigh* life sucks, truth hurts. oh well.

i guess this is one of e days when my mood is like e weather today. one side of it is nice and bright and sunny - perfect day for suntanning and picnic if u have company. while e other side is gloomy dark and overcast - like a terrible storm is coming up. and poor me. just stuck in e middle like a piece of ham in a sandwich. sigh. hurrr. im so eccentric and to a certain extent pathetic.

time to iron my dress and get ready for prom tonight. seeya.

the greatest thing u'l ever learn is just to love and to be loved in return.
okay, this is quite a cliche quote since moulin rouge is screened yrs ago. but i stil cant help but to cry at e part where e supposed guitarist in a play screamed tt in e show. and ewan McGregor is so darn cute.

weird post

1. hurrr.
2. im feeling bored.
3. flea market isnt an easy thing to plan.
4. hurrrrrr.
5. and ask me why i keep 'hurrr'-ing.
6. i totally have no idea.
7. haha.
8. this post is so completely weird.
9. LOL*
10. ciao!

mad

hee. i think im quite mad. kept coming back to look at my own blogskin. HEEE. =D

well. gtg. watching harry potter in awhile!!

yay*

falling leaf

hmmm. well tif once told me "catch a falling leaf and u can make a wish". so everytime when i walk out from my house to e mrt i'l look out for wandering leaves floating in e air. hoping tt it'l come in my direction for a free wish. but well, u dun always get wad u want. everytime when a leaf approaches me, it'l suddenly turn its direction and go away frm me. =/ hurrr. nonetheless, i stil hope tt e leaf wil fall on me one day or lemme catch it somehow.

then, one day e wish came. i was walking along orchard w james another day. just talking and walking aimlessly. den sth fell from above, right before me and brushed off my hand. but i was too startled by it and thought it was some insect. hurrrrrr. so my free wish was gone just like tt.

ah well, i guess tts how things go stimes. e thing is, i dun even know if my wish wil come true even if i manage to catch one one day. =/

..

hurrrr. my mum bought me a new phone. HEE. yay. now i can take pics like mad. HAHAHAH. but. theres one tiny setback - i cant install my new phone to e com. that means i cant upload ath frm my phone to e com and frm e com to my phone. =/ lets hope its yet. mayb i can get e darn cd frm nokia care or sth. muahahaha.. anyway its a nokia 3230. hee. nth spectacular compared to 3G phones or some bimbotic pink v3. but i like. :)) it has e functions tt i want in a phone. haha. YAY!* but hope i'l get e cd soooon. if not i can only just take pics and del em. =/

i've been sleeping alot alot these days. haa. post exams. i'm allowed to behave like a total pig. -oink- =D hoho. im going shopping later w my mum. woohooo. i think im quite a mummy's girl.

......

after A's

*yawns

im so totally tired today. dun really feel like writing ath.

i dun wan to drive u up above

so before we get to there

i gotta say sorry i take it back

i'm sure u dun wanna burn me apart down

so before we get to that

could u pls just take it back?

listen i heard wad u said

u dun have to repeat it

i'd rather that conversation got totally deleted

hurrrrr

haa. just sth random. heee.

heely

hurr.

last ppr on thurs. bio mcq. ugh.

oh well. im wearing my 4'' heels walking at home. and looking damn ridicules.

LOL* exam stress.

argh! im v irritated by e show tt i've been watching! WHY E BAD GUY MUST WIN!!!! ARGH.

hurr. im waiting for e part to b over den contd watching later.

lol* im being silly.

boredd

hurrr. im at maccafe. im so freaking BORED!!

well. i am suppose to study. and i guess if u dun feel like studying, tts it. u cant concentrate no matter where u are. =/ SIGH.
i hate exams!

wads worse, my whine absorber is not ard to listen. :( not like i whine alot. but i need an outlet. LOL*

ARGH! i absolutely DO NOT feel like studying, tho tts wad i shld do.

how!! somebody saaaavve meeee!

nearing post exam

sheesh. i dun feel like studying.. at all. baaah. that means i'd better not stay home today. if not i'l have a new blogskin again. hahahaa.

anyway, its only 5 days to go. its so near, yet so far. =/

oh well. im totally addicted to loquat's take it back. get it here!
its totally beautiful. haa.

i know wad a jerk i am and wad a pain in e ass u are..

booohooooo

im gonna have an afternoon ppr later. at 2:30pm.

hur. 6 days to go.

>>

hmm. tired. i kinda like united sq starbucks. :)

nice.

arghh.

im... bored.

was trying real hard to study for my chem ppr 2 tmr. well did like 2 pprs alr. too saturated to study anymore or do ath chem-related. bah. its really quite torturous to have like breaks in between pprs. im not e last min kind. i just want eth to b over once and for all. =/ ah well. no point lamenting.

BAAAAHH. im so freaking restless!!!! just like waiting and waiting for sth to come. u know it wil but u just cant help but to dread e wait. -screams-

10 days. yes, ten freaking days.

suundaay

11 days to gooooo!!

since today is a sunday. lemme relax a lil. and project into the future.

After A's... (which is like in 11 days!!!!)

1. Shop. alot.
2. sell stuff at a flea market
3. play!
4. change blogskin
5. play vb, beach vb, tennis
6. get back my long gone tan [i look like some sickly yellow thing now =/]
7. relief teaching
8. watch MOVIES [harry potter!!!]

9. get a man. [ahahaha. kidding la. i think they they'r extinct.]

10. watch my VCDs and DVDs.
11. go lil india and arab street
12. burn notes [haha.]
13. go KL my classmates! yay*
14. pack my damn messy room [b4 e mess drowns me in my sleep.]
15. and give away some of my stuff to e salvation army
16. do silly things that u can do after a major exam. [er. i'l tell u wad im doing when exams ends.]
17. ............
18. ........

hee. this list is not exhaustive. i have like a glorious 6 months ahead of me!!!
lalala~

.

pensive pensive..

this is one of my rare sleepless nights. in a long long while...

put the lime in e coconut

Coconut Harry Nilsson

Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime
His sister had another one, she paid it for the lime
She put the lime in the coconut, she drank 'em both up (3x)
Put the lime in the coconut, she called the doctor, woke him up, and said
Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said
Doctor, to relieve this bellyache, I said
Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said
Doctor, to relieve this bellyache
Now let me get this straight
Put the lime in the coconut, you drank 'em both up (3x)
Put the lime in the coconut, you called your doctor, woke him up, and said
Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said
Doctor, to relieve this bellyache, I said
Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said
Doctor, to relieve this bellyache
You put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em both together
Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better
Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both up
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning
Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime
His sister had another one, she paid it for the lime
She put the lime in the coconut, she drank 'em both up
Put the lime in the coconut, she called the doctor, woke him up, and said
Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said
Doctor, to relieve this bellyache, I said
Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said
Now let me get this straight
You put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em both up (3x)
Put the lime in the coconut, you're such a silly woman
Put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em both together
Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better
Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both down
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning
Woo-oo, ain't there nothin' you can take, I said
Woo-oo, to relieve your bellyache, you said
Woo-oo, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said
Woo-oo, to relieve your bellyache, you say
Yeah-ah, ain't there nothing I can take, I say
Wow-ow, to relieve this bellyache, I said
Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take, I said (3x)
Doctor, you're such a silly woman
Put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em both together
Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better
Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both up
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the mo-o-ornin'
Yes, you call me in the morning
If you call me in the morning I'll tell you what to do {repeat to fade}

14

ugh. trying in vain to study for gp. =/

14 days to go...

dream.

today i woke up feeling happy.

initially couldn rmb why. but as i was walking to e mrt i suddenly rmbed that i was totally in love w this guy who is in love w me too last night. haha. simply loving someone who loves u too.

but it was just a dream that i had last night.
reality sucks. =/



15 to goooooooooo...

/

16

=/

17 days to freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedoooom!!!

bahh.

.

today, i ran 4km unknowingly. lol.

wanted to lose some weight for prom. so went to e gym to jog on e treadmill this morning. i didnt know that e setting on e machine was in miles. [and 1 mile=1.6km] so basically i ran faster and covered a longer dist. thus, e 2.4mile cos i wanted to run like 2.4km.

but well. extra 226 cal burnt today. yay*

.......

just remembered sth. i use to b v traumatised by this ringtone in my old 7610. it filled me w dread fear and a tiny hint of regret whenever i hear it. esp in e middle of e night.

but now. my phone's gone. and i've learnt to get a grip of myself. oh well.

weird.

haha.one of my mum's funny ideas for e choice of location for e EXIT sign. lol. well she thinks im funnier den her cos i was e one who stole it frm sch [from e bench in e mph]. =D and i smuggled it out w han ytd. lol*

baah

had my chinese ppr ytd. it was.... quite okay la. ohwell. its over alr. can kiss e 4 tb goodbye alr. heh. no i wouldn burn it. hahaha~ hmmm. i think im rather weird. on thurs i was at braddell macs studying my chinese lit. and listening to english songs in my mum's laptop. haha~ its like a mix of 2 entirely different languages and culture. lol. im weird.

baaah. my house is as messy as ever. and dirty. =/ and my living room's fucking small now. im only like barely 2m away from my telly. -shakeshead- sighh. well not like i can make any noise. unless i wanna sleep on e streets or at my dad's apartment. =/

hmmm. its public hol today. dun feel like doing any work. muz enjoy e festive mood. w some candles. lol. FAT hope. ohya. talking abt fat. its like my wt has been increasing exponentially [think y=e^x graph. for non math students pls look at ur right palm and refer to e line that goes upwards]. =(( so im playing tennis w my lil sis and han later. hopefully i wouldn jus lose water.

ha. oh well. luckily fats r not permanent growth like bones. they'r storage tissues which can b broken down to yeild metabolic water. so i stil can lose weight. heh. too bad abt e bones. haaa. im just gonna b this tall. for e rest of my life. muahahaha. im crazy. pls ignore me.

=( okaaay. better do some work. last 50m sprint alr. GOOD LUCK TO ALL THOSE WHO NEED IT LIKE MEEE!! gaaah.

mugging

boohoo. using my mum's laptop. heh. we'l be going to united sq starbucks later w my mum and lil sis. heh. mayb i can blog again when we'r there. HEE` wad a poser. okaay. im hungry hope we eat sth nice later. =D

bored.

i guess im just bored. =/

feeling nostalgic

:( im bored and i dun feel like doing work.

.

bah. its sunday again. well one more week to my chinese ppr. :( i think i'm really gonna screw e ppr up. sigh.

hope han gets well soon. sighh. its terrible to fall sick during this period of time. =/

TENNIS

had my first tennis lesson today. it was rather fun. my sis said that i play like a volleyballer. oh well. its quite easy up pick up i guess. haha. more than 70% of balls went to e front. haa. not v disastrous la.

ugh. my biological alarm is signalling that i shld sleep soon. haha~ did one chem ppr 3 today. and when i asked my tutor for e ans, he said he haven done e qns yet. hahaha. im more hardworking den my teacher loh. lol. hope he doesnt see this. hahaha.

haiyo. my sis is watching some award winning tamil movie which is supposedly 10 hrs long. man. its like a classic indain movie where they dance alot. haa. im soooo envious of her. this is e kind of silly things u can do after exams - watch bollywood movies. =\

BAH!! i wanna sleep alr. tmr i'l b going woodlands lib w tif to study. AND R WE HAVING LUNCH OR NOT I ASKED U AT LEAST LIKE 10TIMES ALR!! FOOD'S V IMPT TO ME! -ROARS-

okaaay. good night. zzzzzz

fat

i feel fat today. sigh. probably cos my abercrombie shorts that use to b damn loose became just nice now. X( sighh. i hate e exams. makes me stress and fat. ugh. i need liberation and exercise.

oh well. studied e whole day today. and was pretty productive. oh well. 2 weeks to my 1st ppr. hardly have any choice but to do work.

i feel tired. *yawns

oh did i mention that i'l b going for a trip to KL after a's w my classmates? yay* haha. i stil have e piece of majong ppr that has rizal's v messy planning for e trip. =) woohoooo.

well. hope i'l do as much work as today for tmr and feel thinner.

sunday morning rain is falling

rainy sunday. i like. =]

ytd was fun. went to town w jas after lunch. was suppose to meet her later. but had to save her from this baboon which escaped from e zoo. well anyway, after that we went ard looking for han's housewarming-bday-party gift. which was quite tough cos its suppose to b sth that can b a bday gift and housewarming gift. and also we'r on a budget shopping. but in e end we managed to find some quite decent and funky mugs. hee.

after that we reached han's place at 6. and its alr pretty crowded. almost all her relatives and friends r there alr. so we just hang out and help decorate e place w huiling von shaz and han. while alex and vivik (or is it vivic, not too sure) to start e fire at e bbq pit. then, went to pick serena isabelle and keewei up at e mrt w han. which took us like more than half an hr (tho e walk frm her house to e mrt is only like 10 mins). cos girls being girls have e privilege of being late (or so han claims). when we got back, my lil sis and her friend arrvived and huiling had to leave. i think han felt pretty bad abt it. in e end only von, shaz, lynn, jas, han, alex, kw, my lil sis, her friend and me stayed behind to bbq e food and eat. alex is really a true entertainer man. like non stop laughing w him ard. lol.
haven really played like that since.... last yr after promos? haa. ah well. its like a day stolen frm post-exams activities. haha~

okay. gtg for lunch. and gotta do chinese yu wen lian xi. =(

SCH'S OUT

ytd was graduation. frm ajc.

now, sch's out. and mugging in. i wonder how i'l do fo a's. i wonder wad i'l do next time. in uni, at work.

ohwell. 3weeks more to chinese. and 4 to e rest. sigh.

wish me luck! i need it desperately.

isjorgj

*yawns

im in this have alot of things to say but yet nth to say mood. :(
so contradicting.

ughh. my stress indicator's back - pimples.

yuck.

When I saw the break of day

I wished that I could fly away

Instead of kneeling in the sand

Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine

But you'll be on my mind

Forever

Out across the endless sea

I would die in ecstacy

But I'll be a bag of bones

Driving down the road alone

My heart is drenched in wine

But you'll be on my mind

Forever

this is like an all time fav. haha. :)

some random thoughts

okay. drew this on paint. lol. so old-sch. ppl use like picture it! or photoshop while im stil stuck there. i rmb thats e first programme tt i learnt how to use when i first used e com. that was like at least a decade ago. ironically, its my mum who taught me how to use it. haa.

i have one whole stack of timed prac that i've done for e past 2 weeks to go thru and do e necessary revisions. hope i'l do better.

sigh.

i feel stupid today.

LOVELY.

i am totally in love. its suppose to b more purple than it looks here. e sequins r lovely. =]

heh. looking forward to christmas!

results.

hmmm. update of my results. CDEO. =(

oh well. i shld be sleeping now. but well. just feel like doing sth else other den work sleep eat today. sighh. i have this looong article i have to read tmr abt G8 for e timed prac tmr. =/ so sianifying. oh well.

my tennis lessons r starting next week. my mum was so supportive of it man. "wo bang ni da gei ta an pa." [i'l help u arrange e lessons for u.] my mum, being my mum, told me like 20mins later that eth's settled and can start next week. efficiency 101% man. oh. did i mention that my sis is learning w me too? i think not. but ya. she's learning too. =]

yawns. i shld get my beauty sleep. ciao.

i dun have tumor!!!

okay. i think im lazy. not doing any work and stuf. not much motivation. =/ this is baaaad. ah well. got bcoo for prelims so far. quite neutral abt it. think i've transcended to another level where i can find inner peace even w my not-so-great result. is it good or bad??

sighh. i miss my zennii. sigh. no music, no company. ="( hopefully can get it repaired by next week.

oh anyway, thanks to all those who listened to my lamentings abt my 'pimple-like growth', u know who ur. HEE. e doc said 'pimples can occur anywhere - from tip to toe' (occur??) and gave me some cream and antibiotics for it. lol. so i wldn die. yet. phew.

i still can relief teach at phs and find a waitressing job at a cool and hip restaurant/cafe after a's. oh i wanna sell stuff at flea market too! =)

yay.

alwight. gtg. ciao~

random thoughts

yawns. i realise tt i usually blog on sunday. haha. and i have to visit some ppl's blog to motivate myself into blogging. ohmy.

anyway, my mums V3 spoilt. she v upset bout it. kept saying tt she dun have e "fu fen" to enjoy new phones and stuff (cos tts lk e 1st time she bought herself a new phone). haiyo. why is she so negative?? =( ah well.

i guess no one's gonna visit my blog anytime soon. cos its all mouldy and rusty for too long. yawns. just finish my coffee. tasty. anyway to rizal and jas, theres nth formal and abnormal bout using e word TASTY okay!!

okay. i shld help my mum w her warranty registration n den get some work done. =[

ugh. prelims

having my usual morning coffee. dun usually have e luxury of slipping it slowly and enjoying its aroma. -yawns- quiet lazy sunday morning. nice.

but i think this is like e unnatural peace and tranquility before e real disaster comes - PRELIMS.

sobs. im really damn screwed for ALL my subjects. SIGHH. 1. i cant finish studying wad im suppose to. 2.even if i did theres no guarantee tt i'l do well.

so now wad???? =/ -sobs-

anyway im hooked on this song. have no idea why..

"What Am I To You?"

Norah Jones

What am I to you

Tell me darling true

To me you are the sea

Fast as you can be

And deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low

To whom else do you go

See I cry if you hurt

I'd give you my last shirt

Because I love you so

If my sky should fall

Would you even call

Opened up my heart

I never want to part

I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes

I can feel the butterflies

I love you when you're blue

Tell me darlin' true

What am I to you

Yeah well if my sky should fall

Would you even call

Opened up my heart

Never wanna part

I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes

I can feel the butterflies

Could you find a love in me

Could you carve me in a tree

Don't fill my heart with lies

I will you love when you're blue

Tell me darlin' true

What am I to you

What am I to you

What am I to you

~

ugh. im stress.

abt 2 weeks to go. gp ppr on fri.

f*ck.

boo

yawns
im tired
i feel lk a total pig
ate alot for dinner
ohohoho! i got a new paul frank bag!!!
its so nice n cute!!!!
AAAAHHHHHHH~
okay. i've been gushing abt it since i got it.
heh. but its so nice!! =))

well check this out!
its so cute
okay
tired
nights
wil post a pic of my bag when i get my cam back
=)

lalala~

i feel lazy today haven done any work. think i'l do sth later. mayb some stats. since i scored 14% for my last timed prac. SIGH. im seriously gonna screw my prelims. I AM SO DEAD! :(

sighh. anyway. i think i might stayover at my big sis's house next week. hee. my bro in law is back in camp for re service. mayb i can go there n mug a bit. since my table is so darn messy and dusty. and no matter how hard i try to pack it its stil so messy and dusty. ARGH. im such a mess!

okay. i shld go off soon. gotta get sth done b4 work. ciao! =)

pensive

Business Times
Published October 11, 2003
Young, successful - and in search of a dream

By DANIEL BUENAS

UNHAPPY - that's how I feel as a young Singaporean.

I feel this way not because I'm jobless, poor or uneducated. In fact, I have a good job, a stable income and a good education. By most standards, I should be considered a successful young man.

However, I am slowly realising that the achievements I have been chasing are, perhaps, a chimera. I have sought and yearned for success, when perhaps what I should have been looking for was happiness, or meaning in life.

This is the dilemma that the youth in Singapore face - we cannot reconcile our apparent success with our gnawing dissatisfaction with life, and nobody can tell us why.

What we suffer from is a crisis of the soul.

Young Singaporeans are getting lost in a world in which our worth as human beings is tied to our material, social and physical successes.

However, as we look behind these successes, we often find the faded vestiges of what once were our dreams. Thus, our life's purpose has been drowned in the ocean of practicality.

This distinction between success and happiness was brought home to me recently after the death of a friend. He had passed on suddenly and in the prime of his life, and his death shook me from the stupor of endless days of work.

I realised that I had perhaps neglected my family and friends around me and,in so doing, had lost the true meaning of life.

It is too late now, but if I could speak to my friend one last time, I wouldn't say anything. Instead, I would listen to what he had to say.

Why?

Because Singaporeans are too busy rushing to work, rushing from work and rushing at work. We don't take the time to listen to others.

His death made me reflect on my own life, and the search for happiness.
Sadly, the need to find meaning in life wasn't one of the things I learnt at school. The need for success, however, was.

The desire for success is ingrained in our national psyche, and has been pursued with a fervour that equals - and often surpasses - religious zeal.

From young, we are streamed, labelled and forced into educational moulds, emerging as world-class products of our world-class education system. We graduate equipped to be successful in life.

Yet, I feel that in some way, we are lacking. I was never taught to pursue my dreams. Instead, I was taught to be practical. I chose my field of study, computer science, and my university based on practical considerations. I thought this would eventually lead to success. But success doesn't always translate into happiness.

Perhaps my idealism is brought about by a life that has not known the cruelty of war, or the bitter struggle for survival. Yet, I have met those who hold on to similar ideals, despite going through great suffering.

For instance, I recently interviewed a well-respected academic who spoke at length with me on the virtues of finding meaning and purpose in what we do.

He was no stranger to suffering, having lived through the Japanese occupation, the Communist revolution in China and nearly starving to death as a young boy. After so much hardship, one would expect him to extol the virtues of being practical.

Instead, he spoke of passion, desire, purpose and happiness in what we do.
I found it ironic that it took a senior citizen to point this out to what he called 'a handsome, energetic young man' (what I found even more ironic was his use of the word 'handsome').

Singaporean youth need to learn that our lives are not just about achieving success and that we cannot rely on the government or society to provide us with the reason for our existence. If we do, we will surely come away disillusioned and disappointed.

More than anything, Singaporean youth need to know that the beauty of life lies in fulfilling our own dreams - not someone else's - and that we should not fear pursuing them, whatever they may be. Therein lies our road to happiness.

As Eleanor Roosevelt so eloquently put it: 'The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams'.

The writer is a BT journalist. He is 24.


okay. i took this whole chunk from e ivle. well nice. i like this article. alot.it had expressed wad im feeling really accurately. ive been pondering abt my life. its hectic n piled up w revisions after revisions. i've friends who told me tt i'm doing v well. better prospectsin e future den em. somehow i wld really beg to differ. i think im lk a studying machine. trying v hard to memorise e tiniest bit of detail for bio chem math chinese wadeva - just to get a beautiful cert for my upcoming a's. to secure a place in a good uni, find a good course. and get a good job there after. i guess this is e best tt can happen to me after i've chosen e jc route. but somehow i really do wonder if this is wad i wan in my life. is this gonna lead me to find e meaning of my life. for a meaningless life is as good as being dead.

哀莫大于心死

well. i think tt means nth is more tragic den a cold and dead heart.

sighh. ="(
ohmy. i sound lk im old.

bleah`

hmmm. i've been home most of my time this weekend. have to cheong my gp hols assi. =\ but well im down to one more compre and 2 essays.

went shopping ytd. again. heh heh. got a a&f denim skirt, pullover, a hollister top and e checked shirt for my dad. heeheehee~ i think almost all my clothes r from there man. lol. and e salesgirl told me tt they restock on fridays. muahaha. mayb can go there every sat just to take a look. O_o

anyway, wil b going to sim lim sq to get a projector w my mum later. i think one day my house wil become some chinese language center.. not tt i disapprove of my mum's career. but think of e noise and crowd. esp on sat morning where u catch up w ur beauty sleep.....
hee wil b looking at watches later too. YAY`

ughh. back to work. i seriously think tt i screwed my midyrs. SIGHH.
hm. passed my chinese tho. 51% :]

a day at home doing wad u like to do

hee. just changed my blogskin. muahaha. i suddenly feel smarter. but e change took me awhile. actually didnt wanna change it til one zillion light years later. but well kinda fell in love w tt pic and im freeeee so ya, its changed. hee. got it from absolut vodka's website. its a really really cool site. heh.. found it in a virtual art gallery where absolut got artists to paint pics using absolut vodka as e theme. [hmm my sentence sounds funny] hee. nicenicenice.

oh well. im doing e things tt i like to do today. yay. this feeling is absolutely GREAT!

ok. i'm going back to wad i started in e morn. seeya ard!

YAY!~

aaaahh. i just love it when i switch on e radio and its playing one of my favs..hee. sunday morning rain is falling...

oh.today i wrote approx 1000 chinese words. wow. in case ur wondering, no its not some cl compo. its my last ppr. chinese lit. muahahah~ now i can scream LIBERATION!!!!! heeheehee~

anyway pigged out in town w han after e ppr. and we missed war of e worlds cos of my chinese teacher who tried to instill some values and principles into gengyun grace lu ming and i. =/ she is not too bad a person but still..

@#%^$%#$#$%^*

sighh. ah well. just love e feeling e after an exam. heh..not tt i can do this do tt. jus tt food tastes better and i wldn b so stressed up til i shade my IDENTIFICATION NUMBER wrongly. mineohmine. i stil cant get over it...

okay wadeva. its over and im happy.. =))))


WOOHOOOOOO!!!

oh ya. look at this. isnt it sweeeet? hee. my lil sis made it for me. and i promised her to post it here. anyway. e unclear part is this girl who looks lk paul frank's sis holding a guitar singing "i'll b there for u..." [think alot like love]


heehee~ so nice. i feel loved.. =))
well tho she sang for me while i was bathing. trust me. it was terrorising.

GREAT! 3 MARKS GONE!!!

"ms mani i shaded my ic number wrongly on e mcq ans sheet..."



"oh! so it was u."



"yaa..can i reshade it now?"



"no. just take it as a lessom learnt."



and tts how i lost THREE BLOODY MARKS from my alr v pathetic marks i'l get for my bio mid yr.

well but surprisingly i didnt get a full blast scolding from her since she alr gave us ample warning abt shading e number correctly for not jamming up e machine. jas and i were planning wad to say to her when she nags. lk "ya im stupid and im sorry.." instead she just smiled sweetly and gave my a pat on e small of my back and asked me to go home. =// i wanna CRYY.. -sobs-


anyway, ms mani is my bio teacher who is really petite and have a really high pitch voice.

well. gp was fine. i always fail it anyway.

ok. gotta do math later. and i seriously doubt t i'l finish my chinese mugging in time. =//

mid yrs

right. mid yr starts tmr. and it'l end on thurs for me. and for some luck ppl on tue. =// im seriously gonna flunk it. sigghhhh.. and ms mani is gonna come after me. ='(



okay. at least i have e great singapore sale to look forward to w my mum after midyr.



YAY!~

well guess i'l sleep early tonight. hmmm when do i not sleep early anyway. haha~

tag replies

sigh. i guess e past week was like intensive mugging [erm relative to my 10 days in china heee]. well shant bore myself and everybody bout my muggerfied mugging. lol. i'l reply e tags here. haha~ my lil sis gave me this idea. haa..


han pig. u switch topic lk lightning. v diff to get wad ur talking bout. in fact i had to read it ALOT of times to figure out wad ur trying to say. LOL. u pig! grunting in e piggy manner! AHAHAHAHA. yay, okay. shopping+suntanning at sentosa. yippieeeee!!! -does e mad yy tribal dance-



Raaaaazeeeee. hee. dun worry. im on e same boat as u tooo. we'l cry together at one corner when we get back our pprs ya. oh. gd luck for ur gig. =) i'l go when its not at a birds-also-dun-fly-there place k. hahaha~



wendy!!! =( im stil 17. e plus can round down one.tho i'm 17 and 11mths. -hinthint- heeee~ im as youthful as u can!! lol.



anyway. e bone, PINK shades and visor ARE NOT FOR MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! haiyo. wad e hell. the bone is a specs case and i gave it to zy. and e PINK shades is for jasmine la. she wanted to buy sth lk tt since dunno how long ago[n she didnt get it in s'pore cos its ex here =X]. haha~ and e visor is for my lil sis. hoho. its a fake stussy btw. haa~ its not 'paul frank' on e bag. its '_aul frank'.. LOL. i got a paul frank watch tho. haah~ u want it tif? ooh. its pink too.pastel.
fine. e LV bag is only (55/4.8) bucks! haha. [i forgot tt i bargained w e person]



ok. off to another day of mugging alr. seeya. =))

boohoo.

i need discipline.badly.

i think im really v v v v v dead for my mid yrs. =// sighh..somehow i jus cant bring myself to sit down and mug for e whole day. its funny how time flies when u watch a movie or take a nap and how SLOW time is when ur mugging.. this sucks. SIGH.

oh well. wish me luck. mayb i'l go to e guanyinmiao w my mama. lol.


oh. here's e picture of e things i got in china. but alot of things r missing tho. cos i've given em out. haha~


haha~ have a good day!

back!

ha.alrighty. im back. obviously. lol. at my sister's house now.
anyway landed at like 6 plus in e morn ytd. shanghai is a good place. its even more cosmopolitan den singapore. oh well now i know why my mum keeps wanting me to go uni in china.it has a completely different culture and wil b a whole new exposure for me. and at e rate tt its developing, its no doubt tt china wil catch up w e western powers.


sheesh, e last bit sounds lk an article from e economist.ughh..[yes tif im chingchong n pro-china tho i dun lk their toilets too]


hmmm. and i spent like over 2000rmb. heehee. so e number of things i got is woah..guess i'l post a pic when i get home or sth. haa..



yesyesyes. i missed everybody. esp ying rong.[she's right beside me and she told me to write tt bit]

leaving

hmmm leaving my house soon to get some sg dollars changed to rmb. my mama alr scolded me for doing it soooo last min.

i think i'l try to get to use e com there n see if i can update this from china. ahahaha.. last yr at australia i can actually go online at e hotel lobby. but its china this time round. so i seriously doubt tt i can. well mayb they'l have it at their universities which i'l b visiting.

ok its abt time.. seeeeeeya,, in 10days.. ;)

tooo serious??

hmm. tif said tt im tooooo serious. am i? haha.. mayb..


well i shall blog abt my hair. bimbo enough tif?? lol. well but i went for a haircut juz now. hmmm my ponytail's really small now. lk half its original size. and my fringe is quite screwed. =/ tooo short. resulting a toot-looking me. =/////


anyway, han came over in the afternoon. she wanted to help me pack my lugguage. and guess wad. after insulting and fighting w me, she fell asleep on my bed!!!!!!-_-""" lk WTH. pack in her dreams more lk it man. stupid pig. hee. n i almost scare her to death by letting her specs suntan outside my window. lol..it was so fun. ahahaha..



oooh. took some pics in e afternoon.. its pretty nice. all e bubbles n stuff. oh. tts rjc in e background. all e elites actually study right underneath my nose. =X hee..

but living near where they study doesnt seem to make me smarter or study harder. haha..oh well.


hmmm wil leaving for china e day after tmr at 1am. wil b back in 10 days. haa. miss meeeeee!! LOL.

the curious incident of the dog in the night-time

well the reason why i didnt blog nor go online ytd is cos of the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.i went into an investigation of this dead dog, wellington, w christopher and made a journey thru his chain of thoughts abt life and his life. and i particularly lk this part


"Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them."


i think this is so very true. many things in life have a rationale, but u can nv find out e sequence and rules behind it. because there isnt any anyway. [ok this is a bit of a paraphase here. pardon me for my lack of proficiency in English]


so cheerios everybody! dun think too much stimes. it doesnt really help at times..
ooh. im so sorry tt i gotta leave for china and ps-ing e team for e rest of youth cup. =(( i'l miss playing w u guys. sighh. have to wait for a yr b4 we can play together as phs alumni. and tts if we stil can play/r gonna play next yr. siiighh..

a day at home

last night was baaaaad.
i was almost biten to death by some mysterious bug(s) which leave(s) itchy bites w 2 punctures. and they'r lk all over my legs, arms and even one on one my fingers la. i think e bug(s) is(are) desperate. my fiiiiiiinger also wanna bite. WTH. sigh. and i had to change beds twice and finally falling asleep on my mum's bed after being tormented by this for abt an hr plus.. haiyoooo.. so tragic.


e bug(s) bully me when my mum's not ard!!!!!!!!! =((((((((


sheesh, i sound lk some sulky 5 yr old.
anyway.. i finished my bio hols assi. yay! but well i stil have alotalotalotalot of work n revisions to do. siigh. sometimes i try reeeeeeal hard to tel myself tt grades are not eth. but eth ard points to the other direction. sighh. so sadd.


"our education system made me dumb.." hmmm someone said tt quite sometime ago. forgot who tho. its so ironic.

country pumpkin

pretty perky now cos of e coffee in e late afternoon. at yakun. one of my fav coffees ard. oh well.

hmmm. i think han had one of her biggest revelation abt phsvb today.

"e way u all play is lk heavenly and effortless.."

lol. it was so funny! she was lk marvelling at how we were playing. ahahah.. i didnt know tt one can b so amazed by e way we play. LOL. stupid pig!! i guess she wil die of heartattack if she sees how e nat team plays. ahahaha..

k, im hungry. dinner was only yakun. fooood here i come!!!!

traumatised auntie??

hmmm. won our game today. against RP. siigh. but we didnt perform. very not up to standard. =// anyway. wil b playing again at phs tmr. home ground. hopefully wil play better..

after tt i went off to coronation w rena jinzhen shuhui huishan n wendy.. i think we didnt stay long enough for e auntie there to give us attitude. lol. oh well.

den, i went 'auntie shopping' w zenni at tp central. hohoho.. i got...
1 pair of flip flops.
1 greeny pouch for zenni.
travelling toiletries [for my mum].
1 hairband.
1 PINK bell [for hanpig].
1 spray bottle
1 empty bottle for my facial foam.

hee. e best part is i spent lk 10 over bucks only. muahaha.. told my mum abt it n im not sure who's more proud of it - my mum or me. ahahaa.. ohmann. we'r hopeless.

anyway,, im STILL v traumatised by wad tiffy told me over e phone just now. somebody juz murder meeeee..i think i'l jump outta my window or sth. ohman. im VERYVERYVERYVERYEXTREMELY grossed out..

sighh. poor me. =((((((((((

piiiiiigggin`out

well i shall type as i pig out in front of e com w cup noodles, sanchabing n durian. hmmm, im thinking of chocs n lays later. ahaha. am such a piggy pigpig. LOL.

oh well had math makeup lec today. boring. but mr tham is a v nice guy.. haaa.

den after tt went to walk ard in town w huishan. n well we simply ate n walk ard while talking non stop abt e same old topics we've discussed almost every wed n fri and some random stuff. oh well i guess eth's over. wads e pt of harping on it anyway?

ohh, we won e game against DOT today. tho we didnt play particularly well. but i guess we'l def do better e next game. which is lk tmr. haha.. ah well lets bring out our team wheeuuwhee power tmr or sth. lol.

anyway, i think im getting exasperated. im not angry or pissed or ath near tt..jus dunno wad to do la. =/

sleeeeping in..

"Sleeping In"

by The Postal Service

Last week I had the strangest dream

Where everything was exactly how it seemed

Where there was never any mystery of who shot John F. Kennedy

It was just a man with something to prove

Slightly bored and severely confused

He steadied his rifle with his target in the center

And became famous on that day in November

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in

Again last night I had that strange dream

Where everything was exactly how it seemed

Where concerns about the world getting warmer

The people thought they were just being rewarded

For treating others as they'd like to be treated

For obeying stop signs and curing diseases

For mailing letters with the address of the sender

Now we can swim any day in November

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping

(now we can swim any day in November)

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in[x3]

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping

OOo oOo oOo[x2]

sundayy.

its raaaining.

not going to e KL trip anymore. sighh. have decided to sacrifise my shopping trip for mid yr. sigh. not sure if its enough tho. but well. better den nth.

ah well. went to e market n supermarket w my dad n lil sis in e morning. hmmm i think he's changed. hmmmm.. sighh. i guess one wil only cherish things when one no longer has em or is on e verge of losing em.. sigh. wad can i say?

beyourself

right. today's e lastday of term. hurray! its e hols. muahaha.. i have 2 trips to look forward to. wil b going KL w my family n china w my shoolmates. i think im lk so dead. 2 weeks away from singapore.wil b so dead fo mid yrs after e hols.sighh..

anyway, had b urself day today in sch. it was pretty fun. was hanging out w rizal and jas in sch..

hey there

this is lk my first real entry. wow.
anyway, got a few ppl to thank for helping me w this blog. rizal and my lil sis.
thaaaaankss.

well, i have decided to keep up w e technology n create a blog.

thus u r reading this green and slightly bitch[the skin] blog. haa..

til later, the pig here is kinda tired.

I LOVE MY CREATIVE ZEN MICRO! :):):)

test

testing 123...