randomadness

and again

2011-02-05T20:20:00.004+08:00

so, today is the day. stuff packed, internet fixed, goodbyes said (but not all). off to a new life, a new journey, a new beginning.

but i know my roots, and i know that i will be back. no words can describe how much i will miss you all!

packing, counting down, emo-blackmailed

2011-01-27T15:32:00.001+08:00

byebye! i'm going to basel with ee as well!

a new start

2011-01-19T11:05:00.003+08:00

hi, i'm back.

one of my new year's resolution for 2011 is to stay in touch. what better way than to revamp an old blog and start my rantings again?

the main motivation for this re-ignition is that i'm going away, again.... this time to switzerland, basel for graduate school. another 3-4 years. addicted to life away from home? maybe.

anyhow, stay tuned! i'll be back for more.

happy birthday james! may the coming year be a fruitful one.

sticky x-ray tape

2008-10-24T07:40:00.002+08:00

believe it or not, some scientists actually found a way to release enough energy from peeling sticky tape to take x-ray images!

see it for yourself here.

only got one

2008-10-16T06:49:00.000+08:00

yah, this is how much i miss home.

LULU

2008-10-12T01:30:00.002+08:00

lucas, aka hungry hippo.

the epitome of cuteness, to me at least.

golden nyc

2008-10-01T04:50:00.005+08:00

just a quick one before i start on some reading for my upcoming modules.

i had a good day today - did some work and went to town with ash and tina in the afternoon. tina left after a little while. though the weather is not at it's best, it's nice to just walk around in town leisurely and just... talk over dinner. i guess this is one of those days i'll replay in my head when im feeling nostalgic towards student life in leeds.

and... got a poster today [they always have poster sale an the beginning of term]. it's named 'golden new york city' - a pretty apt name if you ask me.

golden nyc

i wanna see the world!

我们学会用不同的说法来掩饰不同的伤疤

2008-09-29T21:37:00.006+08:00

be warned: this is rather random -

my first flier, ever.

hehe. hope someone (not some pervert) responses to this and buy my books! maybe i should be doing marketing design instead of what im doing now. i actually enjoy doing this.....

anyway, i'm addicted to karen mok's songs (thanks to yr and erer). too bad youtube can't allow us to share her stuff on blogger. :(

love the lyrics.

new room

2008-09-27T21:24:00.008+08:00

pictures!

that's all.

better in time

2008-09-27T15:50:00.002+08:00

first day back in leeds went quite smoothly. from flight to moving my stuff from sherrie's, there is almost no glitches or hiccups. think might just be the smoothest move back.

spent the next couple of days unpacking, cleaning and settling in. im not quite done yet, thanks to frequent intermission for sleep, tv, fresh air, etc. but im in no particular hurry; its as if if i finish these things, i'll have nothing left to do before school starts...

i've been craving for real, home cooked food since i got back. i know, its a tad too early for that [been back for 3/4 days only]. my good old flatmate has been back for a week and still doesn't mind having instant noodles [mh: hair loss, hair LOSS]. funny how we [yr and i] wanna have these instant stuff for a meal when there is the real deal waiting for us. oh well.. anyway, i made some japanese golden curry last night [came in cube stock form, not fancy recipe off the internet] and had it with rice. that was satisfying. though not the bestest food ever, its good enough for a good night's sleep and happy stomach. what happened to my one-kg-per-month plan.. ugh.

ok. im gonna try finish unpacking my stuff by today. hate loose ends; hard to tie up! pictures of my new room when im done.

when im down, down, down

2008-06-16T05:27:00.003+08:00

i was packing my stuff for summer storage when i found this -

layout of my room at leodis last year

it was in between my organiser for 06/07. i like going through old stuff once in awhile. be it one year old, five or ten. it brings back memories loitering at the back of my head - some good, some not so. it struck me how transient and volatile things can be. yet, it also reminded me of the good things that stayed constant in my life. and they will continue to be there, even though it may be subjected to variations at times. i guess, at the end of the day, all these just make me wanna cherish what i have more and remember that the only constant is change.

oh if any of you are still reading this, i'll touch down on 14th july - exactly 4 more weeks to go. can't wait to be home!

i've driving for an hour

2008-05-05T05:20:00.002+08:00

hello! it's been awhile since i've blogged.. and i'm gonna play a little game that uses my itunes to read my future? hahah.

anyhow,

The Rules:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.
4. Comment on it.
5. Tag 5 people.

1) How are you feeling today?
just can't get enough by nouvelle vague

oh yeah, from studying... (that's what i've been doing today, sad to say)

2) Will you get far in life?
坏天气－孙燕姿

shiiiiitt....stormy weather ahead?

3) What's your best friend's theme song?
summer love/set the mood prelude - justin timberlake

tiff, james - i dunno how this came up! (maybe we have two secret timberlake fans here.)

4) What is the story of your life?
other side of the world - kt tunstall

hmm..coincidentally, the first verse of this song is on this page..

5) What was high school like?
ode to my family - the cranberries

not so sure about family, but i did make some very good lifelong friends from phs (:

6) How can you get ahead with life?
midnight bottle - colbie caillat

i'm not an alcoholic, yet.

7) What's the best thing about your friends?
before i fall in love - coco lee

when i'm in love and when i fall out of love - they're still in my life.

8) Describe your grandparents.
steve mcqueen - sheryl crow

hahah. movie star?!

9) How's your life going?
i love the rain the most - joe purdy

yeah. drizzles and rains here and there.

10) What will be played at my funeral?
radio - the corrs

i actually kind of like this song..

11) Will you have a happy life?
neon - john mayer

glowing. yess.

12) What do your friends really think of you?
multiply - jamie lidell

erm. multiply?

13) Do people secretly lust after you?
a bad dream - keane

hahahaha. a bad dream. i guess not then.

14) How can you make yourself happy?
honestly OK - dido

tell myself that i'm honestly okay? sheesh...

15) Will you ever have children?
sailor song - regina spektor

maybe when i sail far far away.

16) What song would you strip to?
a moment like this - kelly clarkson

....

17) What does your mom think of you?
my boo - usher and alicia keys

we're tight but...not that way.

18) What is your deep, dark secret?
what can i do - the corrs

ha. thats for me to know, for u to guess.

19) What is your enemy's theme song?
the sun doesn't like you - norah jones

so do i, but i'm not sure who you are..

20) What's your personality like?
unforgettable - nat king cole

is it? hahha.

21) What will be played at your wedding?
stoned - dido

my oh my..

Tags:

anyone who has the time for this...and actually made it to this sentence.

you should not believe in me

2007-10-15T04:19:00.000+08:00

i hate it when my com is all laggy, especially when i'm trying very hard to do my lab report. and that ain't so bad because one can deal with lagginess with more patience. but now, to make matters worse, Word keeps dying on me whenever i try to save my work. brillant! congrats yy!

$*#&#)$@(*#@""?!>

i'm damn pissed! ARGHH! the only way to get work done is to go to the computer cluster. =/

office 2008?

hope is something unfounded

2007-10-12T23:42:00.000+08:00

i've been too lazy and busy to blog properly. guess it's about time for some updates before anyone thinks that i fell from the face of earth or something.

my lessons this year are a lot more hectic these days and way more interesting than superficial things that we did last year. but with that, it means that the content that we cover are more difficult and comprehensive. it's good when it comes to satisfying curiosity but its bad news when i have to mug for exams. very bad, in fact. but i'm not gonna go into that now. it's not time, yet.

i finally joined the leeds' volleyball team this year. we had our first match with leeds metropolitan university this wednesday. it was a good game, considering we only had 3 formal trainings before the competition. besides, we totally kicked their asses; 3-0, the first set was under 10. :D it's been awhile since i had my shot of adrenaline on court so it really feels quite good. there's a lot more motivation to go for training this year..

although i still miss home, being back in leeds is like going back into part of my life that i left behind last summer. basically, i'm picking up what i left off and continuing with what i have here. and that's a lot more enjoyable and less scary than starting from scratch (like last year).

time really tells, so just sit back, relax and let it unfold before your eyes.

where you end

2007-10-12T00:48:00.001+08:00

Where You End - Moby

Some things fall apart
Some things make you whole
Some things that you find
Are beyond your control

I love you and you're beautiful
You write your own songs
What if the right part of leaving
Turned out to be wrong

If I could kiss you now
Oh I'd kiss you now again and again
'Til I don't know where I begin
And where you end

Thought I fell in love the other day
With an old friend of mine
I was running kisses
Down every inch of her spine

We had the roof down
The sun came shining in
The black fact is
That I was thinking of you

If I could kiss you now
Oh I'd kiss you now again and again
'Til I don't know where I begin
And where you end

I slept in the sun the other day
I thought I was fine
Everything seemed perfect
'Til I had you on my mind

I tried to love you
I did all that I could
I wish that the bad now
Had finally turned into good

If I could kiss you now
Oh I'd kiss you now again and again
'Til I don't know where I begin
And where you end

If I could kiss you now
If I could kiss you now
If I could kiss you now

Oh where you end
Is where I begin

Oh where you end
Oh where you end
Oh where you end

lost in coffee rings and fingerprints

2007-08-03T09:14:00.000+08:00

i have this deep sense of foreboding that time is running out.

indeed, it's already august. this means that i'll be heading back to leeds in about a month's time (i'm flying back on the 20th of september). well, going back to leeds has it's perks - the freedom, pursuit of my degree, travelling etc. yet, i know that i'll definitely miss home and be missing out on the lives of my friends and family. sigh. oh well, i made that choice. i'll have to do what i have to do..

on a lighter note, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY ZEEWAI!! ((:
i'm really glad to have a friend like you.

i hear in my mind, all these voices

2007-07-22T17:28:00.001+08:00

i like endorphin, the tiny little molecules that work wonders on my brain. they make me happy, feel good about myself and make me go an extra mile, literally, on the treadmill. sadly, i don't get endorphin charged too often. but just as well, lest i get tolerant to its effects.

so, when will my i get my next shot?

regina spektor - Fidelity

2007-07-16T15:00:00.001+08:00

And suppose I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall..

i'm gonna find other you

2007-05-17T01:53:00.000+08:00

i like coffee, and i think i'm kind of addicted to it.

i've been having withdrawal symptom, a slight headache, all afternoon because i didn't have my usual dose this morning. its bad, i know. i ~~suspect~~ know it'll get worse if i were to continue to indulge. but i can't imagine my mornings without coffee. not only that it smells good, it perks me up too.

nonetheless, i know that i can do without coffee. just i little more effort and i can do without it. then again, there is just this part of me that's telling me that i might just want this slight addiction, to indulge in something that i shouldn't.

oh well, maybe i should just let it go....

lets waste time

2007-05-14T00:03:00.000+08:00

i love talking to ying rong. our conversations just flow as naturally as it can be, without any awkward slience or inhibitions. our ideas may be conflicting at times, but we can always communicate with ease. there's no one in the world who can replace her in my heart. although she, like anyone else, has a lot of flaws, i'll always love her.

with all my heart. ((:

don't make me think before i speak

2007-05-12T16:48:00.000+08:00

exams in 4 days, 12 to end of exams, 18 to home.

it's been almost 9 months since i've breathed the hot and humid singapore air. i know i will definitely complain about the heat when i get back, but that would never deter me from going home. i really can't wait for the 4 long awaited months of holiday! there are so many things i'd love (and have) to do when i'm back. i even compiled a to-do list from playing with lizzie ~~lizard~~ to returning library fines (60 bucks!!!!!). oh, and with some luck, i might be able to work as an intern in A*star just to get a feel of research. i really have to thank Zuthur for that; he helped me pull some strings. ((:

i really can't wait for exams to be over and the day when i can finally fly home. but i know from experience that on the day itself, the excitement would not be like what i anticipated. but oh well, i just wanna be home.

hate this feeling of disappointment.

quit you

2007-05-01T23:10:00.000+08:00

i'm in quite an irritable mood now. mainly pissed with myself, as usual.

argh.

on a lighter note, my poster is almost done. hurray! i have to write out my speech soon though. i only have the main points done. i dun fancy presentations, even when there will only be 3 assessors present. ah well, i should go on and finish my revision for tmr's data analysis exam.

i really can't wait to go home. getting tired of leeds.

i thought my problems would just dissipate
and all my pain would be in yesterday...

unsaid

2007-04-29T17:14:00.000+08:00

Unsaid - The Fray

Not that you're the one
Not to say I'm right
Not to say today
And not to say a thing tonight

But suffice it to say
We're leaving things unsaid
We sing ourselves to sleep
Watching the day lie down instead

And we are leaving some things unsaid
And we are breathing deeper instead

We're both pretty sure
Neither one can tell
We seem difficult
What we got is hard as hell

A hundred thousand words could not quite explain
So I walk you to your car
And we can talk it out in the rain

And we are leaving some things unsaid
And we are breathing deeper instead
And we are leaving some things unsaid

I can sing myself to sleep
No more

Not that you're the one
Not to say I'm right
Not to say today
And not to say a thing tonight

Coffee and Cigarettes

2007-04-15T05:55:00.001+08:00

hur. what a heart wrenching song.

but i like. =/

do you have a suggestion?

2007-04-14T23:45:00.000+08:00

people are coming back from easter break,
cars are filling up the parking lots.

goodbye tranquility.

manual counter

2007-04-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

my 3-in-1 counter.

cant wait!

i need you so much closer

2007-04-13T19:31:00.000+08:00

i've been too lazy to blog for the past few weeks. getting way too comfortable with my newfound source of ~~free~~ music and endless junk food [think chocolate fondue and crunchy nut] from morrisons. what's new?

anyway, some updates. i'll be heading back to sg on the 30th may, which means it's only about 46 more days to go till i can finally go home. [i managed to reschedule my flight 'cause exam ends on the 24th.]

but firstly, i'll have to tackle my first major exam here in 32 days' time. =/

tick tock, tick tock. time is running out.

Tristan Prettyman - Shy That Way w/J Mraz - Live At Lestat's

2007-03-19T08:53:00.001+08:00

i love the performance and song.

someday, somehow, in some town, perhaps?

a day, wasted

2007-03-18T02:35:00.000+08:00

i know i should probably do something constructive instead of blog surfing, friendster-ing [yes, i know. im outdated. people are facebooking now and im still stuck w friendster.], watching house and just simply indulging in my own laziness.

but well, notice i said probably.

the excessive thoughts on my mind are making me really restless and dissatisfied. but the real trouble is that i can't let them out of my mind. there seem to be a gap between thoughts in my mind and my ability to express them. most of the time, they don't come out. and even if they do, it's just not rightly conveyed. so they're just trapped inside my mind, waiting in vain for liberation.

i hate the feeling of inadequacy.

updates, like finally

2007-03-15T02:02:00.000+08:00

easter break will start on this friday!! hurray! no more lab reports, essays, 9 am lectures, practicals, whatever for the next month! =D and i'll be travelling with the usual people again on the third week. muahaha. ((:

by the way, if you don't already know, i'll be going back for summer holidays on the 6th of june! i really can't wait. it's been awhile...... )):

hmm. maybe i'll write up a to-do list for easter and summer hols for motivation when i'm done with my essay and lab report (which are due tmr). =/

Cosy in The Rocket

2007-03-13T21:32:00.001+08:00

one of those songs that i just can't seem to get it out of my system.. oh yeah, ignore the slide show. enjoy the song!

tolerance

2007-03-07T00:33:00.000+08:00

my friends usually tell me that i have almost no temper and (relatively) high tolerance for stuff like noise and irritating people. but i don't think that's strictly true; i only have a high threshold for people whom i love and care for. i'll always try my very best to accept the imperfections in my friends, that's the least that i can do for them. and it's not like i'm perfect. i know that i'm irritating (at times only, i hope) and definitely far from perfection. so i guess what's important is not who is more irritating or irritated. it's more about being truthful and accepting, not putting up with, the flaws.

what do you think?

a' levels

2007-02-26T16:24:00.000+08:00

GOOD LUCK all the people out there collecting their A' level results on fri. (((:

ARGH

2007-02-26T06:04:00.000+08:00

feel like going home. ):

Thinking About You - Norah Jones

2007-02-25T20:18:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I saw the sun shinin',
And the leaves were fallin' down softly,
My cold hands needed a warm, warm touch,
And I was thinkin' about you.

Vindicated

2007-02-20T02:30:00.001+08:00

hectic mess

2007-02-17T21:32:00.000+08:00

YAY.

i finally finished my work thats due on monday. now i can really enjoy my chinese new year weekend. there's no way my cny this year would be as enjoyable as previous celebrations (in sg). but i'm really thankful to have some close friends to celebrate cny with. ((: im really looking forward to the steamboat tonight. its like a "reunion" dinner and a real break from my never ending work (for now).

more updates later. =D

2007-02-11T10:07:00.000+08:00

And it's been here
Silent all these years..

sarcasm?

2007-02-09T07:31:00.000+08:00

just thought that this lecturer has quite a quirky and sarcastic sense of humour.

Dear Sutdents,

Firstly I apologise for the inadequate lecture this morning: gross anatomy without illustration is about as useful as an empty picture frame.

I and several of my colleagues have complained about the apalling condition of this lecture theatre and the unreliable and inadequate audio visual aids on a number of occasions - the complaints result in temporary patch up jobs that self evidently don't last.

The fact that neither the digital projector nor the slide projector worked this morning shows how the place is out on a limb and forgotten: moreover, they have removed the emergency link telephone to the AV techs (who are all based in Roger Stevens).

As you are aware, the illumination from the digital projector is pitifull even when its working.

How much are you all paying in top - up fees - and how much would it cost to replace the computer and digital projector with ones that work satisfatorily and provide an emegency link to the IT techs?

I would encourage all of you, individually, to take a little time to vent your dissatisfaction with the people who timetable modules and those who mastermind the provision - unfortunately I cannot find a NAME for the latter.

However, if you all e-mail Lisa Whiteley L.Whiteley@leeds.ac.uk
and copy in mediaservices@leeds.ac.uk
We may, with luck, get something done about it or a move to a theatre that is fit for purpose.

If they take no notice of the teaching staff maybe they will take notice of the paying "customers".

Yours

Alan

**********

The lectures for BMSC1206 at 12noon on Wednesdays have been moved to the Medical Lecture Theatre on level 7 of the Worsley Building. This venue change will be for all remaining lectures on the module.

Dr Helen Billington
Teaching Support and Quality Manager
Faculty of Biological Sciences
University of Leeds, Leeds, LS2 9JT
Tel: 0113 3432841
h.l.billington@leeds.ac.uk

and it actually worked..

*lol*

she wants to be like the water

2007-02-06T06:54:00.000+08:00

Every time after varsity volleyball training, I’ll feel an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. I miss playing volleyball in Singapore, with my old team mates. The unspoken understanding and silly jokes on/off court, the friendships forged over the years. They’re simply irreplaceable. Sometimes, I find myself in search for that intangible feeling i miss so much. But I know I can never ever turn back time to experience the feeling of fulfilment and satisfaction during/after competitions and trainings. It’ll always be part of me but, sadly, I can never come close to experiencing all these again. Just like how water in a stream can never be exactly the same as before - it keeps moving on, never looking back at anything. Maybe I should be glad just to have those fond memories. Maybe.

sigh.

2007-02-03T08:42:00.000+08:00

Breathe - Michelle Branch

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
You say I've been driving you crazy
and its keeping you away
So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
'Cause I dont wanna waste another moment
in saying things we never meant to say

And I Take it just a little bit
I, hold my breath and count to ten
I, I've been waiting for a chance to let you in

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe

Well it's all so overrated
In not saying how you feel
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real

And I Give you just a little time
I, Wonder if you realize
I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
Breathe

So I whisper in the dark,
Hoping you hear me
Do you hear me?

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
Everything is alright if i just breathe... breathe

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain

HELLO LIZZIE LIZARD

2007-01-27T00:18:00.000+08:00

say hi to Elizabeth Chia Yu-en! a new addition to my family on 26 Jan 2007 at 855am (sg time).

she's so loved by all of us. (:

2007-01-25T07:02:00.000+08:00

Littlest Things - Lily Allen

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I dont why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
no one in the world that could replace you

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things remind me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Prague trip

2007-01-23T11:40:00.000+08:00

Prague is such a beautiful city. wish we had a day or two more to explore the place. i'll definitely go back there if i get a chance to. =D

i'll update more when i get hold of the pictures we took during the trip.

it's almost 4am now. i should get back to bed.

And just because you just don't feel like coming home
Don't mean that you'll never arrive.

feel like home

2007-01-18T09:05:00.000+08:00

Feel like Home - Fort Minor

These days are dark and the nights are cold
People acting like they lost their soul
And everywhere I go I see another person like me
Trying to make it all feel like home

[Mike:]
Standing on the bridge in teh dark and I'm seeing my breath
Trying to make it home without freezing to death
And my grandfather's face is
stuck in my mind mind and how
Seeing him tonight's gonna be the last time I should've brought a jacket
Blowing in my hands like it's really gonna stop the chill
I buy a cup of coffee with a five dollar bill
thinking
Laying in that box people look so still
At times like these you start thinking
Your first breath in and the clock starts ticking
I'm not trying to bum anyone out
Not trying to be dramatic
just thinking out loud
I'm just trying to make some sense in my mind
Some defense from the cold that I'm feeling outside and for a minute
Escape with some rhythm and rhyme and
Get away from the grey
Just a bit at a time

[Ryu:]
Kinda funny how this world can treat you
Like a freak in a sideshow
a carnival creature
Climbing outta cans
I'm a diamond in the sand
But you cant tell the difference on a beach full of rhinestones
My life's like trying to swallow a pinecone
It's tough when you live fast
just to die slow
Talk to dial tones
my dreams are far-fetched
It seems
so I sleep underneath this park bench
I know it don't make sense
And I don't expect you to know what it's like
Smoke
drink
piss
sniffing everything in my sight
Push rocks in a pipe
Liftoff
I keep puffin 'til my lips turn white
And my chest gets tight
But who the fuck really cares
when you're
So far left behind that even death looks right
All I can do is hope for teh best and pray
That it gets a little better than yesterday

[Tak:]
Pardon me
I think I'm nect to url
Too many problems going on
that's why i left my girl
Packed my bags and traveled with a pen and a notepad
Pissed that i was broke and all the things that I dont have
But still
I try toi find a way to escape
From all teh hate planted in my head which lead to mistakes
But now I'm breaking the mold
see I was patient and calm
Many sleep in the rain
but I'm awake in the storm
Writing my life in a short film
The Rise and Fall
How I managed to scorch hills
and climb the walls
Pound pavement
aimless in the cold existence
Even thought thangs are changing
I'm going the distance
Overcoming the doubt that had controlled for so long
And put it all behind me
'cause life still goes on
Now I'm much stronger and know where I stand
While lost souls search over and over again

[Mike:]
These days are dark and the nights are cold
People acting like they lost their soul
And everybody's trying not to cry
trying to get by
And trying not to feel out of control
And if you look hard enough
Sometimes you'll find a place that might just remind you of home
But if it doesn't feel like home
You can do what I do
Just pretend you don't feel so alone

saying things that i cant quite put in words

2007-01-16T06:33:00.000+08:00

i rememeber reading somewhere that we spend most of our lives pretending to be someone we can never be. i think there's some truth in it. cos it has something to do with the insecurities that we inevitably carry around, in large or small packages. its not so much about leaving a better impression in others. Rather, it's more like hiding behind a facade. tucking that inner self away, protected from the (intentional or unintentional) judgement of others and the disappointment when it is unraveled.

i guess we can never be as good as we'd like ourselves to be, can we?

quote

2007-01-14T02:39:00.000+08:00

I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it.
- Voltaire

i must say that i really agree with this little quote of the day i ripped off my sis and bro-in-law's blog. well, i guess it works vice versa too, right?

hurrrr, back to my ethics essay and exercise on plagiarism.

):

iPhone

2007-01-11T03:54:00.000+08:00

iPhone

iWant.

):

suddenly i see

2007-01-09T17:09:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

blessed.

2007-01-08T19:27:00.000+08:00

i think i'm quite an eccentric person.

sometimes, i just lie on my bed at night imagining how billions of cells in my body functioning as a whole unit, complementing each other in synchrony. like how millions of minute neurons firing electrical signals to each other to inhibit or excite, creating resopnses in my muscles or just a random thought like this. it's amazing how the seemingly "dead" processes, such as diffusion of neurotransmitter down a concentration gradient across the synaptic cleft, come together to make you and i unique individuals. it's simply too beautiful for me to put down in words.
[okay, i think i got all the key words to "Explain how the neurotransimitter reaches the post synaptic membrane from the pre synaptic membrane. 2m" But thats not the point.]

on the other hand, it is fragile too.

when any one of the processes ceases to work properly, no matter how "trival" it seems, the result may be detrimental. if you look at cancer, the underlying principle is simple - the continuous, uncontrolled division of cells. see how it devastates people's lives and baffles the researchers finding a cure. as much as we sometimes don't want to admit, we just can't beat nature. period.

so be thankful that you are alive and kicking. stop lamenting about life.

we take too many things for granted, only to realise it when its too late.

):

2007-01-06T05:55:00.000+08:00

i feel like

going home
eating my mum's ai xin maggi mee for supper
watching csi/law and order/grey's/24/alias
having my summer holidays NOW
going home
hanging out at home, doing random stuff
catching a movie at cine
walking down orchard road
going home
suntanning
having Singaporean food
being there for the arrival of my baby niece, ~~lizard~~ Lizzie
going home

but i know i can't.

well, not for another 6 months.

):

first entry for 2007

2007-01-05T03:07:00.000+08:00

i guess it's about time for an update. i never blog enough, as usual.

anyway, though it's laggy, i still wanna shout
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
may it be better than 2006. [it has to, doesn't it?] ((:

i had a wonderful, wonderful christmas dinner with Manhon, Zuthur and Sarah at Sarah's kitchen. i took like tons of pictures of them stuffing the poor turkey with potato, bacon, stuffings (some 3-in-1 sauce from the supermarket) and butter. it was hilarious and very fun. i even took a video of them at work. too bad theres no sound. ):

operation turkey.

my London trip was fantastic too. the post Christmas sale is really fabulous! virtually everything is on 50% sale or more. i'm not gonna shop anymore during anytime of the year except christmas and new year sale. =D right, maybe not.

no worries, i managed to keep to my budget. i'm a real miser at heart. hahah.

well, i have 4 more days before school starts. better have a head start with my ethics essay. cos i'll be going to Prague with a few friends on the 18th.

yay!

christmas

2006-12-25T15:36:00.000+08:00

merry christmas! ((((:

ying rong's

2006-12-19T08:07:00.000+08:00

here you go. (:

i miss hanging out with you a lot a lot.

love you babe!

2006-12-19T07:40:00.000+08:00

check this out if you have nothing better to do. its quite fun. found it when i was doing research for my lab report some time back.

some good things are worth waiting for. but what if you have to spend a lifetime waiting?

my christmas break so far

2006-12-16T03:44:00.000+08:00

hmm, time for a li'l update. im having my december break now. i'm enjoying it. =D i love the free and easy feeling.

i can

sleep at 3 am and wake u at noon, thinking that it's only 10 am.
do nothing but design my blogskin the entire day without feeling guilty
have drinks at some random bar and drink to my hearts' content w a handful of friends
talk about philosophers and afterlife at 2 am in the morning after getting a bit high
have flames (leeds equivalent of KFC, only that it's better) at 230 am
go supermaket-ing, buy 2 weeks' worth of crap and cook everyday
do some work and feel really hardworking for starting early on my stupid essay

well, basically thats what i've doing for the past week. quite shiok. makes coming to leeds to study and staying for christmas worth it. =D

as for my Cologne trip last weekend, it was terrific!

quality company, beautiful scenery, refreshing beer and great weather. what more can one ask for a holiday except for time to freeze right at the moment for you to savour? :) Cologne is really a beautiful, beautiful city. the cathedral alone blows you away. too bad my old camera sucks. i swear that the shutter speed is like 3 whole seconds. its worse when it's on night mode. it's terrible. cos the night scene is so darn gorgeous.

here u go, pictures taken in during the trip.

river rhine [dunno the bridge's name]

Cologne Cathedral [600 years of history, so must touch and kiss according to Zuthur]

one of the food stalls in the german christmas market. the food is fantastic! [except for the weird giam cai thing w soup]

german train. it's like FOC cos the tickets machine is inside the train cabin.

shopping on a saturday =/

ice cream, anybody?

me, Zuthur and Sarah. Cologne beer is so darn good! (:

river rhine. chocolate museum on the RHS.

taken during the long dreary bus ride back to London. beautiful isn't it?

Sarah, me. Leeds train station. sulking, cos i f*cking forgot the train tickets! missed our train and had to spend another 50 quid on our new ticket. yes, go ahead and punch me. ):

heading to Hogwarts?

pretty self explanatory huh?

London underground

London. what square is it called again?

yours truly, on train back to Leeds from London. we didnt miss it this time round.

well, this pretty much sums up my holiday trip to London and Cologne. i'll be heading for London again on the 27th. POST-CHRISTMAS SALES! we're gonna do so much junk there! have duck rice, pizza, cha guay tiao, kebab, watch musicals [phatom of the opera, billy elliot, nutcracker, evita.... ..], put flowers on karl marx's grave(?), RETAIL THERAPY etc etc etc. ahhh. heehee. quite looking forward to it. =D hopefully Ted Baker will have a mega sale on this trench coat.

well, i guess staying in Leeds for Christmas isn't such a bad choice after all. i'm so glad that i have some very good company. (((:

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

BREATHE IN

2006-12-14T09:29:00.000+08:00

Breathe In - Frou Frou

I read you and God I'm good at it I'm so spot on
Chord shapes in air go press that dissonance if you dare
And you breathing in finesse an innocent
From her partying

And I'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling
And I'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling
'Cause I love you no?
Can't help but love, you know...

What part of no don't you understand I've told you before
To just get off my case this isn't happening stop this now
And I where was I? I have to be somewhere
Now where did I put it?

And I'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling
And I'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling
'Cause I love you no?
Can't help but love you, no...

Is this it, is this it, is this it?

Yes hello we're back and we're taking calls
Now what was the question?

And I'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling
And I'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling
'Cause I love you no?
Can't help but love you, no...

raaaaaainn

2006-12-06T01:31:00.000+08:00

i dun like the cold rain, doing lab report and people who think that they are princesses. but i like the feeling of after exams, the start of term breaks and good company. ((:

talking about striking a balance. haha.

ah well, im going for an opera in a bit. it's called peter grimes. hope i wouldn't fall asleep. i just wanna go for the experience. the theater looks really glam with the lights and red carpet from outside. wonder what is it like inside.

more later, if im not too lazy. heee. im freeeeee from studying for the next 4 weeks! woohoo.

shit, lab report. ugh. =/

title and registration

2006-12-01T09:34:00.001+08:00

Title and Registration - Death Cab for Cutie

The glove compartment is inaccurately named
And everybody knows it
So I'm proposing a swift orderly change

'Cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
And all I find are souvenirs from better times
Before the gleam of your tail lights fading east
To find yourself a better life.

I was searching for some legal document
As the rain beat down on the hood
When I stumbled upon pictures I tried to forget
And that's how this idea was drilled into my head
'Cause it's too important
To stay the way it's been

But there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade,
And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all
And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night

And there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all
And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night, up all night
When I'm lying awake at night

nice, nice, nice. im hooked to this song.
well, i should be sleeping now. shit. im getting hungry. man, i dun want the sarah syndrome! =X
LOL*

let go, so let go

2006-11-29T20:40:00.000+08:00

i've been receiving complaints about my stagnant blog. in case you've been wondering, i'm still very much alive. its just that i've been busy mugging, or trying to mug, my ass off these days. exams sucks. no doubt about it. it's universal; from singapore to UK to wherever. i think it's a singaporean thing. cos even when there's lack of drilling here for me to study very very hard, i'm still doing so. possibly even more so. i guess that's a nice change. i dunno. haha.

its's been more than 2 months sonce i left home, or reached here so to speak. there have been quite a few emotional roller coaster rides. but i'm gradually settling in to the life here. establishing my routines, building familiarity and transcending to another level of independence. this independence is not something you can develop at home; not that you cant learn to be independent when you're in the place where you grew up. it's just a differernt.

the independence here is like a no string attached life. you are truly on your own, with no moral obligations to fulfil and people to please. here, it's more like 'me, myself and i'. you exist as a single entity, with no worries or cares for the world. everything is more or less your own time own target. you do what you like and like what you do. it's refreshing, liberating and.... sad. cos after awhile you get tired of the space and pirvacy. you begin to think that you are havng too much space that it becomes emptiness.

ah well, i guess thats life. you cant have everything. i'm not depressed or suicidal, thats just how i feel about it.

but i've made a couple of good friends here, fortunately. and im very thankful to have em ard. ((:

oooh. i'll be going to york this sat for shopping. yeah, i know i have exams. but i have my mum's permission. 'as long as you can finish whatever you need to study for, theres no reason to be cooped up at home.' my mum's words [in chinese of cos]. hahah.

okay, enough time spent on my random thoughts. time for some work to be done. =/

weekend

2006-11-26T06:19:00.000+08:00

i should be doing some work now. i've been procrastinating since i got back from town. it seem like i just cant concentrate on my textbook. i keep wondering to spme other places in my mind. haha. i think i'm still in the post-assessment mood. bleah. i should steer myself back very soon.

went shopping with Sarah and Sherrie today. okay, what's new right? i've been going to shopping almost every saturday for the past month. i usually come back empty handed with a full stomach. but today is a different story. =D i spent a total of 57 quid on a pair of jeans from Zara and a a water proof "snowman" jacket from Gap. heeheehee.. they are so nice and value for money. the Gap jacket is on sale. it was 58 quid. but there is a reduction of 20 quid. so its about 30% off. heh. i love getting good buys. call me cheapo. i dun really care. heehee.

sigh. i should do my revision early. will upload some pics soon. my d-cam's batteries finally arrived. =D

thank you erer! you really put in quite alot of effort to pack the stuff. haha. love you! -muacks-

the nearness of you

2006-11-14T06:48:00.000+08:00

The Nearness of You - Norah Jones

Its not the pale moon that excites me
That thrills and delights me,
Oh no
Its just the nearness of you

It isnt your sweet conversation
That brings this sensation,
Oh no
Its just the nearness of you

When youre in my arms
And I feel you so close to me
All my wildest dreams
Came true

I need no soft lights to enchant me
If youll only grant me
The right
To hold you ever so tight
And to feel in the night
The nearness of you.

halloween

2006-11-01T00:52:00.000+08:00

halloween was damn fun! i went clubbing with the Singsoc people at Oceana. this time its actually enjoyable, not awkward.

basically, we just drank, danced and bitch about ugly/sluttish people. it was really enjoyable. esp when we bitch. =X i even told my mum that i went clubbing. hah. and she cldn even recognise me on the picture! i dressed up as a "vampire" but i dun think i look like one. cos im too cute. haha. no la. its cos i didnt have blood/white powder. and im not sure if i really want over do it, resulting the not quite like vampire look.

clement, yun jing, me, sarah and zuthur

sarah, me, edna and asha

clockwise: zuthur, sarah, yun jing, asha and yours truly. on the dance floor.

(:

ooh. and i got a new phone (and number)! heh. its the Samsung D900, red version. hee. its so gorgeous and slim! =D

YAY! i finally got a phone!!

2006-10-30T05:15:00.000+08:00

watched A Good Year with Sarah just now. it has quite a nice theme. but very predictable. initially we wanted to catch Marie Antoinette. but there is only one timing at 9:45 pm. so we decided to watch a good year instead. that's like my first time watching a movie in Leeds. talking about being ulufied. =/ haha. it feels almost like i was back in PS catching a movie on a weekend. but its more pricey to watch movie here. its about 5 quid. i guess once in awhile wldn hurt right? =D

during my christmas break, i wouldn't be going back to singapore; its more rational to do so. 'cause my break is only 4 weeks. it'll take me 2 weeks to get over the jet-lags. so i might as well stay here and conquer UK. lol. mayb not. but i'll be going to london post christmas and to germany at the beginning of my break. i still have no idea where exactly i'll be going in between the 2 trips. but i guess i'll be going to the south. its warmer there. so its time to read my UK guide book and start booking train tickets. cheaper that way. heh.

i just hope tt i wldn get too homesick...

oh. i'll be going to nottingham next weekend for the nottingham games. wanna guess which sport i'll be participating in? no prize for those who guessed correctly though. for the benefit of those who have no idea, i'll be playing for the massoc (malaysian and singaporean society) volleyball team. hope that it'll be fun. never been to nottingham before and have never played in any of the inter-university games before. went for their training today. apparently, they think that im quite good. but that's just because half of them dun know how to play.. haa.

its winter now. cos the whole of UK is follwing the DST daylight saving time. so the time difference is 8 hours. which means the sun sets even earlier in Leeds. =/

so gloomy. ):

pandora's box.

2006-10-29T17:35:00.000+08:00

to all music lovers,

do check out pandora, if you haven't already done so.

(: cheers!

Swingset Chain

2006-10-29T17:25:00.000+08:00

Swingset Chain - Loquat

There's a playground that we used to run on
The penny-drop that broke her arm
The monkey bars that you fell from
The swingset chain that stuck with my tongue
It's thirty below and we're far gone
If you plant yourself here I wouldn't miss you for long
But then comes the day when you leave town
I'm back to the way I was when you weren't around

If you want to know what that was like
I'll tell you first, it was way too quiet
It rained a hundred nineteen days of the year
I spent my time falling down the stairs
I know I can't tie you to a leash
But something tells me you'd go further than Greece
And then I'll have to figure out what to do
I'm kind of afraid I'm co-dependent on you

I'm freaking out that we've started breaking down
Before momentum picked up
Now all these doors are locked
The trees trick you 'cause they're always standing still
If time was really racing by
You could see it when you drive

There's a rooftop deck where we still hang out
A couple of bars where we're not allowed
The roller-skates that threw you on your face
The park on the hill which was our only space
The fog is fast and it rolls right in
About the time I struck my first fifth of gin
I really don't mean to complain too much
But this is turning me into quite the lush

I'm freaking out that we're running out of time
But to do what?
Should I stop and think of that?
Is there something I could do to slow it down?
Live in a day for once
Instead of watch it screaming by

You're a dandelion seed
That flies through the air
And lands randomly
Then disappears

I'm freaking out that we've started breaking down
Before momentum picked up
Now all these doors are locked
The trees trick you 'cause they're always standing still
If time was really racing by
You could see it when you drive

choice

2006-10-26T18:20:00.000+08:00

get busy living, or get busy dying.

the choice is yours. and yours only.

it started when we were younger and u were mine

2006-10-20T00:10:00.000+08:00

time kinda flies this week; its gonna be friday again tmr. i'll be going to a flea market out of town on sunday just to look around albeit i have an upcoming assesment on monday. hur. please don't nag me. i really need to get outta leeds, i haven't really travelled anywhere since i got here. besides, i have assessments like every week. like next next monday, im gonna have my final assessment which contributes to 40% of my overall module mark. yes, im gonna mug my ass off for that assessment.

oh! i finally got my long awaited parcel with my seafood inside.

they're dried and tiny though........

go ahead and laugh. but when you're abroad on your own, anything goes. esp when it tastes like home and is not bland.

im sure u guys know where this originated from. my mum had been nagging at me all week to check with the site office if her precious "dye" food has arrived. so here u go mummy. its right beside me now. and im gonna have some of it tonight. =D

one more thing, i had a haircut cum mini makeover yesterday, courtesy of Sherrie. i've got quite mixed reactions to my new hairstyle. so i'll let you decide for yourself...

20 mins before my haircut

TADA!

miss pseudo-cleopatra

haha. i just wanted a change. anyway, fringes grow real quickly. and i think its quite nice. hohoh.

THANKS SHERRIE! :)

as for my "makeover", Sherrie just picked up my makeup and painted my face. haha. then, she suggested that i change into something nicer and take pictures. basically, we spent almost the entire afternoon being vain. i took quite a lot of pictures which im not gonna post em here. haha. im not narcissistic or anything. =D well, okay. maybe just one la. cant waste the afternoon's effort right?

(:

i miss my phone. the pictures' quality suck.

ah well, i have to finish up my powerpoint on plagiarism and submit it by today. =/
ciao!

=/

2006-10-16T04:03:00.000+08:00

its been a pretty hectic week. from school to shopping. suddenly its sunday again, and the routine is starting all over again. im having a bit of pre-monday blues. just that this one that im feeling now is slightly different; it has a dash of homesickness. nothing that i cant handle. just cant help but to miss home. from the luxury of having real soup to the random phone calls to/from friends. its just so faraway now.

its gonna be awhile before i get back to those things again. and i wonder if thye're gonna change in my absence. like morphing into something else that i cant recognise..

okay, enough lamenting. i have to be brave. i chose this path. and im gonna stick to it and make the best out of the stint, like how my bro-in-law put it. ((:

mugged.

2006-10-07T18:56:00.000+08:00

if u dont already know,

I WAS MUGGED YTD!

):

i was on my way to meet my cousin for dinner at a small restaurant nearby. den 3 guys materialised from behind, snatched my hangbag and took off to the dark residential area. it was only half past eight can. =/

so i lost my favourite Gap hangbag, my motorola V3i, my favourite Guess wallet and my keys to my hostel in that split second. SIGH. inside my wallet i have my student ID, NRIC [yes, i know i shouldn have brought it along], my new bank card and some other stuff. some things can be replaced. but some cant be. ):

on the other hand, i still have my iPod with me. cos i put it into my jacket pocket instead of my bag. thats like the most expensive thing i have w me tt time. plus, i wasnt physically hurt. just shocked and truamatised. :(

this totally sucks. i'll have to bug the accommodation office for new keys, bank for new card and police for the official statement to claim my insurance. but i have to wait till monday cos they dont work on weekends. =/

but well, i wanna say a big THANK YOU to people who have shown concern and support to me. ((: it really made a difference.

the body

2006-10-05T19:08:00.000+08:00

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst I think. When the secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear.

in case you're wondering, i've been reading Stephen King's The Shawshank Redemption. i'll never ever write something like that. its so simple yet so close to heart.

time for my afternoon lecture.

peel me a grape

2006-09-30T05:46:00.000+08:00

its been a pretty hectic week. lesson started proper and there are some order restored! ((: not that i love routines. its just feeling lost in an unfamiliar place kinda sucks. what we're doing during lectures is more or less a recap of A level stuff. which isnt too bad - i've given most of the things back to miss mani already. =X so much for mugging for A's. or mayb thats the reason behind my C for bio. hmm, let's not go into that. no one likes to read about lamentations right?

anyway, i love biology, esp human physiology. i'm so glad that i didnt settle for any random course back in Singapore. i might need time and energy to adapt to Leeds, selfishly burn a big hole on my parents' pocket and leave all my loved ones behind. but i know that this is something that i want to do for life. tho i dun know what's gonna happen in the future.

OH! i went for a little retail therapy and grocery shopping today with Sherrie. i spent like 30 pounds. =X and i got...

my dream boots! i love the colour, material, heel, height, length and price. its perfect! [12 pounds]

green bag! [4 pounds]

and one week worth of fruits and meat. well, my new bag and boots are probably made in China. but who cares. they're nice and of quite good quality. muahaha. i love getting good buys!!

and... its great to have a nice shopping partner. ((:

well, so far everything's quite alright. hope this will continue for awhile longer before the novelty of living alone wears off and homesickness starts kicking in. =/

the cold dreary winter is looming....

my room

2006-09-24T16:33:00.000+08:00

MY ROOM!

my bed.

my table. [oops is that my sports bra?]

my v tiny closet. =/

window. nice. thats like my favourite part of my room.

view outside my window.

free poster. =D

my FULL LENGTH mirror. hee.

im a little lazy to type. thus the pictures. :)) enjoy! school's starting tmr. wil update then. wish me luck!

induction week

2006-09-22T01:26:00.000+08:00

its been a week since i've reached Leeds. i've been really busy.

the first thing that i did when i got over the jet-lag was to visit the city centre. my cousin actually took 3 days' worth of leave to bring me around the uni and the city centre. :) hoho. i dunno what i wld've done wo him showing me the place. i really need to get accustomed to walking alot. my hostel is 10 mins away from sch and 20 mins away from the city centre by foot. so theres really no point taking public transport when there is a traffic light every 50 meters and the bus frequency is like 10 mins.

then, it was the talks about my course, briefing about my lectures and IT facilities in sch. it was boring yet informative. but the induction week is more or less over now. and the real lectures and tutorials are kicking in next monday. hope it'll be better then the talks.

oh yes, and my uni registration. it was giving me quite a headache till this afternoon. thank goodness its been settled already. there was some miscommunication between my mum and i. i told her to transfer my tuition fees to the uni's barclay a/c straight. but she thought it my was a/c that i was talking about and sent extra 3000 pounds there. but now, eth's good. the sch got the money and will send back the extra money tranferred. so i dun have to chase the sch for my 3000 pounds.

i guess, this is part of settling down and really integrating into the Leeds community. i really do hope i can find a place for myself in this lovely city. i should really take some time off to take pics of this place and upload it. :)

okay, its 6:46pm now. time for dinner. =D

hello world.

2006-09-16T00:09:00.000+08:00

HELLO HELLO.

i just reached Leeds!

the weather here is so nice. it has the kind of pleasant chilly feel which is a nice change from singapore. =D but my cousin warned me that today is actually one of the rare days where its hotter den usual. and in 2 months' time, i'll be missing the sunny Singapore.

anyway, im currently at my cousin's place. just woke up from a short nap, considering how much sleep/time i lost ytd during the flight. its like 14 freaking hours. =/ by the way, if you'r wondering what's the time difference, Leeds is 7 hours behind Singapore. for now. it'll be 8 when its winter. anyone knows why? do enlighten me. :)

oh, before i forget, i really gotta thank all my beloved friends who sent me off at the airport ytd. :)) it means so much to me. and for those who couldn make it. dun worry, i'll still love you guys. haha.

okay, i'll update more later. i really need my beauty sleep cos a headache is on its way.. :(

countdown.

2006-09-08T09:49:00.000+08:00

6 days. =/

funny pink shoes.

2006-08-28T16:32:00.000+08:00

went shopping with my mum a couple of days back at paragon. bought a pair of shoes from novo. hee. i think i really like weird stuff. i would've loved it more if its LIME GREEN tho.

:)

oh, i finally cleared up abt 60% of the mess on my table. i haven seen the table top in months. but now i can actually use my laptop on my table. great improvement huh? :)

hur. whatever happened to the sunny sun when i want to sun tan? =/

2006-08-26T23:31:00.000+08:00

The Blower's Daughter

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I love you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you...
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

heard this today at Fish and Co, glasshouse.
now i cant take this song off my mind..

2006-08-23T22:18:00.000+08:00

i want the luxury of feeling nostalgic back.

oh, who likes wine, smoked cheese, parma ham, pasta etc? :)

visa woes

2006-08-23T21:29:00.000+08:00

Life has quite a funny way of making one busy.
just as i thought everything is settled for my departure for Leeds, i got a refusal for my visa application. reason being: insufficient evidence of funding. in short, they think im broke. my dad, being really typical of him, isn't really accommodating when it comes showing his bank statements. inconvenient, he said. but its really the same old trust issue that i don't really want to go into. its mouldy, pointless and completely exasperating. sometimes, i really wonder how what my dad is thinking about, and how my mum tolerated that shit for 2 decades.

in the end, something as trival as providing bank statements got really complicated and pissifying. its hard to believe how much, or rather, how little trust i get from my dad. its really insulting and degrading.

sigh. so after some scoldings, fights and unneccessary tears, i finally got what is needed. plus more than i bargained for; things that i don't really wanna know.

for now, i just hope that i don't have to delay my flight and miss orientation or even lessons. 'cause re-application takes 2-3 weeks. time's really running out.

the truth will set you free?
i guess its really a matter of perspective.

sleepless

2006-08-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

pensive and apprehensive.

sigh. 25 days.

sickness

2006-08-18T13:48:00.000+08:00

sigh. been down w a flu and bad sore throat for the past 2 days. this translates to more lazing and sleeping at home. haha. im such a pig. i just cant help it.

i'll be leaving in abt 4 weeks' time.. i have absolutely no idea how well i can adapt to the life at Leeds. hur. so many questions wo answers. made some friends at the pre-departure seminar. and they r just as apprehensive as i am. :(
pre-departure blues. =/

anyway, clubbing tmr. hope it'll be fun. =D

bored.

2006-08-13T17:01:00.000+08:00

hur. this sucks. im like at home everyday.. my mum doesnt want me to work anymore cos i'll be going off soon. =( everyone's busy with sch and stuff now except for me. sigh. talking abt no life. =/

ah well, i just booked my air ticket last night. i'll be flying on the 14th of sept. i hope i wldn b reduced to holding clear plastic bags when i get on the plane. its quite scary wads happening. like all the terrorists' bombings and attempts to blow up innocent lives in uk. hurr. wad if i get blown up to bits.. ewww.

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

ironic - alanis morissette

linger.

2006-08-09T22:57:00.000+08:00

If you, if you could return
Dont let it burn, dont let it fade
Im sure Im not being rude
But its just your attitude
Its tearing me apart
Its ruining everything
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

But Im in so deep
You know Im such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldnt be so confused
And I wouldnt feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

And Im in so deep
You know Im such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to. do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

And Im in so deep
You know Im such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

You know Im such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

sigh.

new skin.

2006-08-04T15:56:00.000+08:00

heh. im bored. hence the new blogskin.

the pic is taken by my chinese teacher. [he's teaching one of the modules for my part-time chinese course.] he's really proud of it. kept showing us during lesson. he's so keen on sharing his masterpiece that i decided to use it as my blogskin. his enthusiasm is rather contagious. haha. imagine a 60 yr old grandpa showing off his beloved picture. its kinda funny.

some ppl r just plain rude and stuck up. i cant stand it. cant u call back later, bitch.

-breathes-

right. i shld read my accommodation contract, pick up my passport photos and do my cl assi. hur, my second sis went off for a blue sky holiday on some island.
i want to go too.

slackarian.

2006-08-02T17:08:00.000+08:00

hur. i've been at home packing my room. cos i'll be going away for quite a substantial period of time. cant leave my mess at home collecting dust right? but all my cupboards/selves/drawers/table are so bursting w things that i cant possibly clear eth at one shot. =/ so i started with my dressing area, then my selves. im planning to start w my table soon. its like overflowing w ALL my stuff. yes, im not the neatest person ard. but my mess is organised mess okay. [ahaha, oxymoron] i know exactly where all my things are, well almost.

during the midst of clearing up old books/files/letters etc is actually quite enjoyable. alot of fond memories came back to me. esp when I was looking thru' letters. its so funny, like taking a ride back in time. when I was 17, 15, 12, 10, 5 wadeva. i really saw how much i've grown, or how childish i was. of cos there are some v unglam pics that i dun really wan ppl to see now [cos of its laughter-inducing factor]. hahah. i was really really fat then. like fat fat. not how girls complain abt their non-existence kind of fat. lol.

these memories will always be part of me. like the friends i've made, the things we did together, for each other will always stay w me. cos without em, i am nothing but an empty shell [w fats and long bones only].

ah, i wonder how it would be like if i go thru' my stuff again 10 years later.

blessed

2006-07-30T13:54:00.000+08:00

ytd, i went to town w tiff to buy PILLOWS! ahaha. and the auntie selling pillows at taka actually reccommended a 66 bucks pillow. -_-" hur. do i look like i'll ~~spend~~ waste 66 bucks on a pillow? mayb i look like such a pig that she thinks that i'll buy it. lol. anyway, after tiff decided which pillow to buy, we ran into alicia! haa. and we stood there for like half an hr just to chat and decide when to meet up. but we had to leave cos we'r running late and cia has to work.

i spent abt 100 bucks at true colours. =/ shit. i think im getting tiffany-disease - spending too much. hope i get my pay soon. and the products from true colours had better work.

after that, i went to the pre-departure talk organised by British Council at Pan-Pacific Hotel. i was severely late. but the good thing is i've been reading useful websites on appying visa, booking air tickets and accommodation. so i didnt miss out much. anyway, i visited the U of Leeds booth set up by the singapore society at leeds uni. i ended up standing in front of the booth and chatted w the president of the society like we've known each other for a long time. haha. i suspect he's a caucasian-indian mix. tho he's not v good-looking, but i think he's really cute. -grins- muahahah. =X im really looking forward to e other pre-departure seminar by U of Leeds next sat. heeheee.

my dad got me a new phone for my belated bday pwes. hee. its the red motorola v3i. its so pretty! =D initially, i wanted the D&G limited edition v3i. but after much consideration, i decided to get the normal red one instead. cos UK isnt really the safest place on earth. i dun really want my phone stolen/getting mugged cos of a flashy phone. plus, its abt 200 bucks cheaper. like my younger sis said, i can get another decent phone w that amount of money.

oh, and i upgraded its meomory size to 1GB. muahahaha. so that next time when i travel ard europe, i wldn have to start deleting pics/video/music in my phone. heeheeheee. i actually promised my mum that i'll take pics/videos of myself on a daily basis and email em to her when im at leeds. talking abt narcissism. must learn from sean. hahah.

OOOH! my sis and bro-in-law got me a 30GB ipod!! =D its a pre-departure pwes from em. heehee. i feel so loved. hahaha. yay* fwaahhh. now my mp3 wldn be "puked" out by my MacBook.

aah, i feel so pampered and blessed. =D

im so loved.. .. =D

2006-07-22T08:44:00.000+08:00

first of all i just wanna say

THANK YOU!!

to my dear friends who came [mayb i shld say sneaked?] to my house ytd for my bday surprise. hee. thank you for making me feel loved. =D
sorry i let u guys waited for such a longlong time. i really had absolutely NO idea tt u guys r coming. heee.
anyway, thanks again. love u all. -hugs-

ah, gtg. i have to work. =/ ugh.

toiletries

2006-07-19T22:17:00.000+08:00

toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries toiletries

just to make sure tt i remember the spelling of TOILETRIES so that somebody cant laugh at me again. well, at least when it comes to the spelling of TOILETRIES.
by the way, the 100 bucks on toiletries is FOR HALF A YEAR'S SUPPLY. cos my aunt told my mum who in turn told me that i shld stock up b4 i go Leeds. cos its cheaper here. and im actually trying to save money okay.

but i had to lug eth[6/7kg] home myself cos my mum's not free to fetch me home. i got like red marks all over my arm cos of my shampoo and stuff. i was so hoping tt on one will see me struggling. den, i ran into one of my mum's ex-student. he was nice enough to help me carry half my load on tt loooong looong stretch of road. i think he is quite cute. and he is studying in AJ yr 2. my dear AJ juniors. do look out for him. =X

but he just had to tell me tt he saw me struggling from far. how unglam.

i could tell from the minute i woke tt its gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely daaayy.

dilemma

2006-07-05T00:31:00.000+08:00

every ship needs a lighthouse once in awhile. even if its a mirage.
but u ask yourself, 'why would u rather be deceived?'

sigh.

hong kong trip

2006-07-01T17:01:00.000+08:00

ah, its been a really long time since i blogged. so for those who haven got the news that im going away in sept to Leeds. yup, i'll be leaving in early sept to study biomedical science at University of Leeds.
i guess this isnt too surprising. cos i didnt exactly do well. and the course that i wanna do (biomed) is quite popular in singapore.
actually, im quite excited abt going Leeds. but apprehensive at the same time. cos u can read all abt leeds. but the actual experience is different for everyone. i can only prepare as much as possible and wait for sept.

the hong kong/guangzhou trip was really good! haha. i spent 5 days in hk w my mum and younger sis. then, 2 days in guangzhou w my dad. anyway, this trip is like a mega shopping trip. heh. i spent almost all my money at Lion Rock Road, Kowloon. its one whole street that sells clothes. really cheap clothes. stuff from A&F, country road, next, hollister, gap, american eagle, DKNY etc etc. they'r like ALL on a 50-90% discount!!! muahaha. plus, THEY ARE NOT COUNTERFEITS!!! they are goods that failed the quality check by the various brands. so, that place is like a F.O.S times 100000 or sth (and of cos, its cheaper). so for those who want to visit HK, pls take some time off for that place. its really worth visit.

but before u get too excited. they dun have a wide range of sizes. and most of the time they only have a few pieces for one design. and another thing that the service wouldn be as good as shopping center boutiques. also, chances are, u will have to really dig for the clothes. haha. its quite a different shopping experience altogether. i dunno if u'll like it. but i definitely love the feeling of getting good buys. =D

alrighty, here's some pics i took during the trip. enjoy.

on the plane.

handle on train.

my little sis. how unglam. haha. but the food's really tasty. :)

this is the tea house menu. it says tt some dumpling costs HK$22.

train to hongkong disneyland. really cute handles.

little sis, mum, me, dad. on train the disneyland.

train to disneyland. nice windows.

disneyland map and entrance tix

me, sis. entrance of disneyland.

miniature house. its very very cute.

the ice cream cart.

shit. forgot e name.

sis, me. (yes, i know that i grew fat. dun remaind me. hur.)

heh. my manicured fingers. it costs me only 20 rmb. v pretty right?

stuff that i bought during the trip. its uploaded upon the request of yvonne. haha. doubt that u can see eth tho.

hmmm, this is one LONG entry (comparatively). oh. before i go off, just wanna say: I GOT A MACBOOK!!! hee. its like a dream come true.
ha ha ha. cheerios.

MacBook

2006-06-11T12:43:00.000+08:00

hee. a MacBook asks nicely. =D
ahahaa.
yes, im getting this. soon.

its beautiful.

invigilation

2006-05-06T15:02:00.000+08:00

i've been doing invigilation for the past week. i think this is highly suitable for ppl who like to pace and space. all u need to do is to walk and forth the rows, stare at the kids and get lost in your own thoughts till its time to collect their papers. its so darn boring.

well, actually i do like the spacing part. its how i function as a person. i dun understand those who needs zero personal space. like as if u'll cease to exist if ur on ur own [physically and metally] for just a tiny minute. for me its like the opposite. i need those times to feel alive sometimes. and yes, i do need to interaction w ppl and have company; im not an autist. but not an overdose of it. it makes me breathless. and if u think tt im weird. im not. its just who i am and what i do.

We should all learn how to move on; you'll be surprised at what can happen.

lousy behaviour

2006-05-04T18:26:00.000+08:00

i knew she was lying. it was the 0.1 sec of hesitation and that slight quiver in her voice.

got meh? u sure not? ... maybe i was talking to myself.

that was such a bad lie. it was like she's pleading insanity to get away w her actions. [actually come to think abt it, most ppl charged w first degree murders to tt. haha.] ah well, not like its really a v big thing. just that it reflects quite a bit abt her. is it so hard to just admit your mistake and apologise graciously?

maybe if its me, i cant do it too.

sigh. i still haven get any news from ntu or nus yet. looks like i might just spend the next few years overseas.

nice.

2006-05-01T22:07:00.000+08:00

then my mother and i are nearly alone in the courtroom. i lean forward to kiss her on the cheek. 'you did really great up there, ' i tell her, because i don't know how to say what i really want to: that the people you love can surprise you everyday. that maybe who we are isn't so much about what we do, but rather what we're capable of when we least expect it.

okay. i spent my whole labour day reading and eating away. its really quite an ideal thing to do. except when your mum ans sis are slogging away, making you feel guilty.
anyway, bit above is from the book that i finished reading today. its my sister's keeper, by jodi picoult. its a beautiful book. the emotions and thoughts going through the characters' mind are so vivid that it feels almost like im going through their dilemma. what i say here cant do justice to that book. u gotta read it and feel it for yourself. (=

and i can totally relate to the part where anna wants to be kate's sister all her life.

end of the week

2006-04-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

sigh. im tired. both physically and metally. i really need a break. i want to have my own space and time. but when i have nth to do. im gonna complain too. i dun really wanna resort to watching tv to let those fictional stories fill up my life.

it'll only make me feel emptier than ever.

hur. maybe its just the raging hormones that's making me all sulky and stuff. maybe.

im such a mummy's girl.

july.

2006-04-23T12:14:00.000+08:00

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

haha. some are so untrue.
but some r pretty accurate.
do list out the untrue ones on my tagboard. it should b pretty interesting. hahaha.

sheesh.

2006-04-23T10:38:00.000+08:00

i've been getting quite a bit of mails from uk these days. heh heh. cos all the unis that i've applied in march thru UCAS [univerisity and college admission service] are offering me a place in their unis. so now i have 4 choices. [oh no. 5 including University of Western Australia.] they are namely University of Leeds, Bristol, Aberdeen and Liverpool John Moore University. i am like reciveing mails 3 or 4 times per week. i got newsletters from the school, accomodation guide, course prospectus and of cos, the official offer letter from UCAS. so i guess if NTU or NUS dunwan me, i'll be going off in sept to uk.

it was actually pretty exciting when i was applying for the unis. like going away to other places. and a chance to experience a whole new life, meet different ppl. learn to be independent etc etc.

hur. but when it really seems like i really gotta go. im worried. can i adapt to the new environment? wad if i cant? and wad abt my friends and family? [i'd really miss em.] if i really go there to study, it'll be a good 3 or 4 years. tt'l b quite some time. =/ sigh.

anyway, i'll be going to hong kong on the 20th june. its like a shopping-cum-visit trip.
hope that it'll be fulfilling.

just for laughs

2006-04-16T22:18:00.000+08:00

i got quite a funny call just now from someone who 'just wanna chat w me'.

now, here's a rough dissection of the caller;

ulterior motive: to impress [by telling me that he read some self-help books, checked the meaning of a certain word and was trying to share his findings.] and to flatter.

reason [caller stated] for calling: just wanna chat. to know me better. he said that after observing me, he found that my personality dun fit the "elite sports person" personality profile. tried to get me to explain that. hello. im not even in the national youth team. could have been and the actual thing are different. and who said that im 'quiet and one who keeps alot to herself'? its just a signal from me to him. like, big and flashing "clear off".
after that, he asked if i chat w ppl on msn. sigh. who doesnt? its just a matter of who is the person in question. so i ended up telling him that i dun like to talk alot, esp to random ppl. well, i almost added 'like u' to tt sentence. but i figured tt its not so nice.

eloquence: =/

characteristics: likes to show off. thick, very. weird.

sigh. so the conclusion is that he tried too hard, and failed miserably in his mission. hur. now i must more find ways to avoid him in school. or try to get him enlightened, somehow.

its hard to be nice.

hopes and fears.

2006-04-02T10:02:00.000+08:00

i had a weird dream ytd. the possibility of it happening in reality is less den zero. but i rmb being really contented in that dream. as if i was happy, all over again.

yet, as reality kicks in and when i rationalise eth. im back to square one. together w all my hopes and fears.